We missed Flack's birthday

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bryanb
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We missed Flack's birthday

Post by bryanb » Fri Aug 23, 2019 11:16 am

It was yesterday, evidently. Here I thought we were making a concerted effort to celebrate birthdays on Jolt Country in 2019, but we totally dropped the ball on this one. ChainGangGuy was there for Robb and Billy was there for Ben; how could absolutely no one step up for Flack? Apart from some randos on Twitter and presumably his actual friends and family, that is, but that's hardly the same as a Jolt Country birthday thread.

I think the only dignified solution at this point is to just celebrate The Day After Flack's Birthday as a board holiday from here on out. It could potentially be second in importance to only Crush-a-Bitch Monday. So happy Day After Flack's Birthday, Flack! And happy Day After Flack's Birthday to everyone!

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ChainGangGuy
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Re: We missed Flack's birthday

Post by ChainGangGuy » Fri Aug 23, 2019 6:39 pm

We blew it.

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Tdarcos
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Re: We missed Flack's birthday

Post by Tdarcos » Fri Aug 23, 2019 7:02 pm

I don't remember anybody telling us about it, it's not like I remember anywhere there being a statement of Flack's birthday, or, for that matter, anyone else's.

Except maybe me, I expect lots of expensive birthday presents on Nov. 27. Or just cash. In small bills.
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RealNC
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Re: We missed Flack's birthday

Post by RealNC » Fri Aug 23, 2019 9:27 pm

Happy birthday.

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Flack
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Re: We missed Flack's birthday

Post by Flack » Sat Aug 24, 2019 9:49 am

bryanb wrote:
Fri Aug 23, 2019 11:16 am
It was yesterday, evidently. Here I thought we were making a concerted effort to celebrate birthdays on Jolt Country in 2019, but we totally dropped the ball on this one. ChainGangGuy was there for Robb and Billy was there for Ben; how could absolutely no one step up for Flack? Apart from some randos on Twitter and presumably his actual friends and family, that is, but that's hardly the same as a Jolt Country birthday thread.

I think the only dignified solution at this point is to just celebrate The Day After Flack's Birthday as a board holiday from here on out. It could potentially be second in importance to only Crush-a-Bitch Monday. So happy Day After Flack's Birthday, Flack! And happy Day After Flack's Birthday to everyone!
Thank you for the post-birthday wishes! To be fair, I did hear from ICJ and Jizaboz and Roody on my actual birthday, so I can see this splitting the group into two -- the day off revelers, and the day after faction. May the best celebration win!

On my birthday I had a burger at Nic's Grill. Nic's is well known for their juicy burgers, but really blew up after Collin Farrell name dropped them on the Jimmy Kimmel show. Inside there's seating for 18, and if you're not there by 11 a.m. sharp you could be waiting an hour or longer for a burger. We have so many great burger places that I doubt I would wait that long for one from Nic's, but it was pretty darn tasty.



We had dinner at a local Mexican restaurant that, as far as I know, Collin Farrell has not endorsed.
"Jack Flack always escapes." -Davey Osborne

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bryanb
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Re: We missed Flack's birthday

Post by bryanb » Sun Sep 01, 2019 12:15 am

Tdarcos wrote:
Fri Aug 23, 2019 7:02 pm
Except maybe me, I expect lots of expensive birthday presents on Nov. 27. Or just cash. In small bills.
I forgot you had a November birthday, but now that you say that I do vaguely remember you talking about how your birthday sometimes falls on Thanksgiving. That still beats having a Christmas or January 1st birthday, but it must have sucked sometimes when you were growing up. Hopefully your family still did a good job of differentiating the two celebrations or just didn't care much about Thanksgiving. I have a November birthday myself, but I'm a Scorpio rather than a Sagittarius. I somehow managed to keep my birth a reasonable distance away from both Halloween and Thanksgiving and never really felt like either holiday impinged on my birthday in one way. I was definitely one smart fetus, but sometimes I feel like I may have peaked a little too early.

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Re: We missed Flack's birthday

Post by bryanb » Sun Sep 01, 2019 12:45 am

Flack, did you get any birthday rewards or serenades at either Nic's Grill or the Mexican restaurant? I personally try to avoid both if my party cooperates. That's partly because I prefer more restrained celebrations and partly because I just want the waitstaff to know as little about me as possible. This is completely unfair, but I just think of waitstaff as being universally judgy. I figure they're definitely going to judge me based on the tip I leave and that it will basically never be enough (to be fair, 15% evidently isn't as generous as it used to be...if I didn't actively resent waitstaff, I honestly would have gone to 20% by now) so I tend to think they're also judging me unfairly on everything else. It's a little tough to enjoy your birthday meal when you feel the heat of the waitstaff's eyes periodically blazing holes through your flesh. Sometimes I wonder if I'd feel better if I started dramatically overtipping as a general policy, but I don't think it would work as I'd feel like I was still being judged right up to the point of tipping. Maybe I could just tip before ordering? I'm very resentful that RealNC doesn't have to deal with any of this shit.

Buffets do have their advantages.

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Re: We missed Flack's birthday

Post by Flack » Sun Sep 01, 2019 6:43 am

Nic's Grill is a manly man's place, whose value comes not from how customers are treated, but by how big and juicy their burgers are. When my father and I sat down, the waiter (from behind the grill) asked, "two burgers?" which was soon followed by, "drinks?" I got the feeling that former military service and/or preferred sports teams are regular conversation starters there. Birthdays, not so much.

The Mexican restaurant is different. Every Mexican restaurant around here has a giant sombrero hanging on a wall (typically next to a guitar) and waitstaff are just dying to use it. All it takes is one person at the table to divulge your secret to your waiter ("psst... it's his birthday") and the wheels are set in motion. You might not even realize the machina has gone into effect until it's too late. One moment you're slathering refried beans onto a tortilla, and when your eyes lift you notice every waiter in the restaurant has circled around like Indians circling a covered wagon. Before you can say "more salsa please," they've slipped that sweaty sombrero onto your head and are singing a royalty free version of "Happy Birthday" that's just different enough to not get them sued, but familiar enough that the entire restaurant feels compelled to clap along to. If there were a payoff here -- a free dinner or dessert for the birthday boy -- that would be one thing, but every Mexican restaurant down here loads you up on free stuff: chips, cheese, salsa, tortilla, relish, and at the end, sopapillas. So, no free accouterments for you -- just 90 seconds of embarrassment for your close friends and family to record on their phones.

PS: We brought our own small cake to the restaurant. There were 10 slices, and 8 of us. The waiter asked if he could have the last two. We tipped 20% plus two slices of birthday cake.
"Jack Flack always escapes." -Davey Osborne

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bryanb
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Re: We missed Flack's birthday

Post by bryanb » Sun Sep 01, 2019 7:59 pm

Oh man, you got sombreroed? I'm guessing that video won't be uploaded to YouTube any time soon, but let us know if it ever gets leaked. Also, how do they handle the passing back of the sombrero? Does someone just yank it off your head, signaling definitively that your birthday is now officially over? I wonder if someone has ever managed to leave the restaurant while still wearing it.

I would personally have been tempted to show up wearing a bandolier and a poncho just to complete the look, but that might not be the best idea given recent events. "Don't worry -- the ammo's fake, and I'm not even carrying my gun!" is not something I ever want to have to say to a terrified person who would likely only hear the words "ammo" and "carrying my gun" anyway.

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Re: We missed Flack's birthday

Post by Flack » Mon Sep 02, 2019 3:49 am

I believe not touching the sombrero is an unspoken rule. One of the wait staff placed it on my head while standing behind me, and promptly removed it the moment the moment had ended.

Chileno's has eight or nine locations locally, and there used to be one near to us that that had a large dining room and was never busy. They had seating for 150 and many times we were the only ones there. We used to have birthday dinners there because it was the type of place you could just drop by and say "party of 20" and it was no big deal. Anyway, because we always went to the same place, we have pictures of everyone in our family wearing the same sombrero over the years. Ah, if that hat could talk.

Oklahoma is a strange place. Wearing a bandolier and panch would look out of place, but walking in with a firearm on your hip really wouldn't necessarily.
"Jack Flack always escapes." -Davey Osborne

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Re: We missed Flack's birthday

Post by Tdarcos » Mon Sep 02, 2019 4:50 am

Flack wrote:
Mon Sep 02, 2019 3:49 am
Oklahoma is a strange place. Wearing a bandolier and panch would look out of place, but walking in with a firearm on your hip really wouldn't necessarily.
If your culture happens to be a "gun culture" where open carry is permitted and guns are respected instead of feared, then people wearing guns is not unusual. Go back maybe 150 years when law enforcement was hard to reach and usually a long way away, carrying guns - and often carrying concealed - was a common practice of law-abiding citizens to make themselves an unappealing target for highwaymen and other robbers. Sort of like Detroit today. Which might also explain why Michigan had a huge increase in people obtaining Concealed Carry permits.

Os all the places to have Shall Issue Concealed Carry Permitting - this means if you fill out the paperwork, take any required courses, and are not disqualified from owning a handgun, the jurisdiction must issue a permit - I never expected the District of Columbia to become a "Shall Issue State."
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Re: We missed Flack's birthday

Post by Ice Cream Jonsey » Mon Sep 02, 2019 11:14 am

The sombrero thing reminds me of a slightly different story. I was at a restaurant in Cowhump, Colorado that is all about KILLING ANIMALS, to the point where they put the severed, mounted heads of the animals all over the walls. The manager was this guy that looked like the dude from Miner 2049er. A real hillbilly. He thought it was the HEIGHT OF COMEDY to lurk behind me silently during dinner on three different occasions, to where everyone could see him do that except me. Ha! ha ha ha!
the dark and gritty...Ice Cream Jonsey!

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Re: We missed Flack's birthday

Post by Flack » Mon Sep 02, 2019 1:37 pm

"...and now his head hangs on MY wall. Ha! ha ha ha!"
"Jack Flack always escapes." -Davey Osborne

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Re: We missed Flack's birthday

Post by Tdarcos » Mon Sep 02, 2019 5:58 pm

Flack wrote:
Mon Sep 02, 2019 1:37 pm
"...and now his head hangs on MY wall. Ha! ha ha ha!"
It could be worse.
“You break your promise to [Supervisor 246], it doesn’t matter by how little, and you’re history, you’re nothing, all the promises he made to you are gone, and you can kiss your ass goodbye, because I’ll have it hanging from the wall of my squad room."
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Re: We missed Flack's birthday

Post by Flack » Mon Sep 02, 2019 7:04 pm

You were right. It could be worse.
"Jack Flack always escapes." -Davey Osborne

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