Jolt Country

Look. The C64 was crap. Most games on it looked like ass.

But it was amazing and awesome. No, this is not a contradiction. If you don't get it, then you just don't get it.

WAit! Was the 40 column word processor a crack against the IBM PC?

No. My point was, millions of people have a fondness for the Commodore 64, and not because of its terrible word processors.

Instead they're all playing crap games that look like ass, like this one:

Good timing from Hyperkin, who just announced their RetroN '77. This thing plays both original Atari 2600 cartridges and ROM files from an SD card. Comes with a joystick, HDMI out, and supports save states. All for $69.95.

https://hyperkinlab.com/preorder-retron ... -hyperkin/

I mean, we all had a VCS and it was the greatest thing of all time, but can we admit now that every single game was garbage, it was just the best we could do? Yes, even Pit-fucking-fall?

Go back to your walking simulators I guess?

pinback wrote: ↑Thu Jun 14, 2018 12:54 pm I mean, we all had a VCS and it was the greatest thing of all time, but can we admit now that every single game was garbage, it was just the best we could do? Yes, even Pit-fucking-fall?

Pitfall! wasn't garbage. River Raid, Warlords, Pitfall!, Kaboom! Yars' Revenge, Spider Fighter and Super Breakout all still hold up. I mean, there's 477 of them or something, I forget what we found. And there's really only maybe 10 more that still hold up.

Mmmm. If you say so. I mean, I loved that goddamn thing, please understand. You could play games on your TV. Awesome. And we had so much fun.

But, as it did with so many things and lives, Asteroids ruined everything. Space Invaders kind of ruined everything, because it came out only a year after the 2600, and though they came out with a passable 2600 version, you could already tell, huh, these games kinda suck.

But then Asteroids came out in '79, which is still the best game ever, obviously, and they made a 2600 version, and we all bought it and played it for hours, because, goddamn, Asteroids on my TV, but there was no mistaking. This sucked, this wasn't Asteroids, but it's all we had on our TV.

And that, if you look back, will be your reaction to all of these 2600 games you hold in high regard. Wow, this actually sucked, but goddamn, we could play it on our TV, and it was GRAND, I tell you.

It was grand. I love the fuckin 2600.

pinback wrote: ↑Thu Jun 14, 2018 12:54 pm I mean, we all had a VCS and it was the greatest thing of all time, but can we admit now that every single game was garbage, it was just the best we could do? Yes, even Pit-fucking-fall?

Dig Dug, dude! Freakin' Dig Dug!

I mean, here is the thing - we aren't saying that the 2600 doesn't have home versions of UNDENIABLY GREAT games. It has a version of Defender, Ms. Pac-Man, Asteroids, Donkey Kong, Tempest, Q*bert, Warlords and like you say Dig Dug. However, it doesn't have great home versions of most of those. I can't remember if the 2600 version of Dig Dug is good - it would be a little different as the monitor alignment is different on a TV.

Yars Revenge was unique to 2600 and was awesome.

With only so many hours in the day, I'd rather spend my time enjoying things than worrying about what other people enjoy. And I certainly don't have the time or energy to worry about people who worry about what I enjoy.

I'll concede that some (okay, a lot) of Atari 2600 games were pretty bad, but that doesn't mean there aren't games I still enjoy playing. Same for the C64, same for lots of old computers and gaming systems.

One thing I enjoy about these old systems is seeing what types of games people are able to make for them today. Here's a screen shot of "Space Rocks" for the Atari 2600.

That's magnificent.

No offense, but these games crap. The 80's spawned some of the greatest RPG's of all time and you guys are arguing over kids' games.

I was wrong about everything I enjoy. I've seen the light now. Thanks, guys!

Yeah, Asteroids is a kid's game, as if there's anyone under the age of 30 that can spend more than 5 minutes on it without totally embarrassing themselves.

There's these rocks in space and your job is to remove them. Simple enough...but wait! What if you were contracted to make way for a hyperspace bypass or something. now it's not just a game, it's a job. That's what I like about the old games, there's no complete back-story or anything. You just do your job and get a high score, that's it.

This rant is partly because of a 'The Last Of Us 2' review I saw on the BBC. Who said us gamers wanted an interactive movie? We want high scores and a chance to enter our initials so we can brag to our friends that we accomplished something. Then we can get on with real life.

OK, back to the Atari VCS. Being able to to bring the games into our living rooms was revolutionary. The first time I started up my 2600 I felt like putting on my tri-cornered hat and hefting a musket. It was that great! I must have played Slot Cars for two days, and that is truly a crap game if ever there was one. But there was something about being in control of my TV instead of the other way around that made it glorious.
Now, Atari (or whoever) wants to give me that feeling back for the low, low price of eighty bucks! Who could say no to that?

THE
TAP THE VEIN
AARDVARK

Ice Cream Jonsey wrote: ↑Sat Jun 16, 2018 8:04 am Yeah, Asteroids is a kid's game...

I was worried that it would dilute my statement if I admitted that I really enjoy Asteroids.

Don't puss out on me now, Billy -- we're in this together! Fuck these old men and their old games!

Wait...what?