Boob Games.

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Today was a game about boob games.

For Christmas, our good friend Flying Carp bought me "Haydee", which we had joked about, but it's on sale, so he pulled it. The trigger, I mean. Haydee is a game where you are a robot with giant tits and a thicc ass jiggling your way around a portal-esque set of rooms, trying to figure out how to get to the next portal-esque set of rooms, but without portals, and with your big ol' ass hanging out of a super-tight one-piece, which the camera seems locked in to always be facing. And you're wearing heels for some reason, and every movement you make generally involves bending over.

Haydee's pretty hot, for a robot. I played this game on the Pinback Morning Show this morning. My viewership peaked at 15, the highest it's ever been. But they dropped off quickly. I don't want to guess why. I ALSO dropped off quickly, because while it's amusing to look at for a few minutes, the gameplay SUCKS, and is so unpleasant and poorly designed that not only was I unable to enjoy Haydee's ass, I quickly got tired of looking at it, because of how bad the experience of playing the game was. Among the many poor design choices I saw in my one (1) hour of playtime, you have LIMITED SAVES, and you cannot use them until you find 1) a disk, and 2) a disk drive thingy. But if you only have one disk, and you use it, boom, you can't save anymore until you find another disk. I know we'd all prefer save-anywhere, but this is, often, save NOWHERE. And the rest of the game is terrible too.

However, it did bring in viewers. I joked to my friends on the Discord, we're doing Hunie Pop tomorrow. Ha ha ha. But then I saw it was on sale, and I'd heard... things. So sure, what the hell, I'll give it a shot.

And it has cartoon boobs, and hot cartoon chicks having screaming orgasms, and dressing up as slutty schoolgirls, and all of that, but I spent most of the rest of the day playing it, because the game is so goddamn good. The feedback loop is this:

1. You play a really fantastically designed match-3 game to gain the affections of these broads, and make money.
2. You use the money ("munies", in the game's parlance) to buy them shit, which makes them like you and gives you a different sort of currency, called "hunies".
3. You use the "hunies" to upgrade your character to make you better at the match-3 game.
4. Go back to #1 until you fuck 'em all.

#2 and #3 are a bit grindy and arbitrary, but easy to do, don't take much time, and you get to hear them squee with delight as you buy them whatever the fuck it is. #4, sure, you're gonna get a boner and feel bad about it, but that's part of the experience.

But #1 is where it's at. It's so good that you'll forget you're doing it to try to see naked cartoon babes, and actually be captivated by the mechanics of the game itself. It's really, really good. I don't have a ton of experience with match-3 games, but I believe others' reviews that call this one out specifically for being among the best of genre.

So, this was the story of two boob games. One, so bad that I didn't enjoy the boobs, and one so good that I stopped caring about the boobs.

Hunie Pop is on sale for $2.50. Worth. Also many of the reviews are hilarious, so even if you don't buy it, go enjoy the Store page.

FRONT PAGE.

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EPILOGUE: I decided after all, sure, let's stream HuniePop. But I just discovered that I can't, because it's on Twitch's list of "prohibited games" which is the absolute dumbest thing I have ever heard of in my entire life, and I've been on the same BBS as Paul Robinson for most of that life.

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A friend told me about this:

http://steamcommunity.com/app/339800/di ... 649668367/

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Good find, good find. That is so lame, Gabe. What an embarrassment.