Jolt Country

I'd feel better about it if it wasn't for the naked greed of every retailer and advertisement I see. I feel the need to rant but this is such a well worn argument I can't see the point. I totally understand Charlie Brown's complaint.


THE
MAYBE I HAVE
AHOGRAPHOBIA
AAARDVARK

This pisses me off more and more every year too.

In case you were unaware or forgotten, the event of December 25 was originally established by the pagans as Saturnalia, where people gave gifts to each other. This was hundreds of years before the Christians decided to co-opt the event in order to encourage people to join.

Yeah, the Christians back then had some really good people in their PR Department. Was probably the best marketing campaign ever.

So this practice goes back more than 2,000 years, so quit thinking that merchants capi9talizing on the December 25 holiday is something new like it happened in the last couple of hundred years, it's been around before even Jesus Christ was born, if he ever existed, that is.

Ok, Ok, but there was no Walmart 2,000 years ago!

Jizaboz wrote:Ok, Ok, but there was no Walmart 2,000 years ago!

We have lots more leisure time now than they did then. 2,000 years ago 98% of the populace worked on farms for long periods, often 16+ hour days since there was little to no automation available. Today, it's the inverse; 2% of the populace works to feed the other 98%. And even at that they have much better working conditions than ever before. A History Channel documentary on wheat interviewed a combine harvester operator, who barely even touches the steering wheel of his air conditioned thresher because it uses GPS to steer itself down the row, and the only time he has to do anything is turn it around 180 degrees at the end of the row to start the next one, where again, the machine steers itself and does its own corrections.

A History Channel documentary on wheat

Whew, giving Game of Thrones a run for it's money.

so quit thinking that merchants capitalizing on the December 25 holiday is something new

Never thought that. Never thought that at all. Complaining about it happening, maybe, but never thought it was anything new. I was really hoping the merchants would, you know, tone it down some because it's been getting really annoying these last couple hundred years. Actually with the rise of advertising it's been much much worse.


THE
HURRY IN TODAY
AARDVARK

AArdvark wrote:

A History Channel documentary on wheat

Whew, giving Game of Thrones a run for it's money.

They even did one about plumbing and toilets. I shit you not!

THE
HURRY IN TODAY
AARDVARK

"This offer is so good it won't last long. This won't be repeated. I repeat, this won't be repeated!"

AArdvark wrote:I'd feel better about it if it wasn't for the naked greed of every retailer and advertisement I see. I feel the need to rant but this is such a well worn argument I can't see the point. I totally understand Charlie Brown's complaint.

I feel you. Each year, my wife and I get a little closer to not exchanging gifts at all. Last year we took a cruise over the holidays, which was our big gift to each other.

AArdvark wrote:I totally understand Charlie Brown's complaint.

Well, at least it wasn't Portnoy's Complaint.

Everything you wanted to know about Thomas Crapper but were afraid to ask, right?



THE
I AM CURIOUS (BROWN)
AARDVARK

Tdarcos wrote:

AArdvark wrote:I totally understand Charlie Brown's complaint.

Well, at least it wasn't Portnoy's Complaint.

Whether or not I laugh and whether or not I consider this one of the 10 best posts in site history is 100% dependent on whether or not Tdarcos can answer this question without looking it up.

Paul, what is the name of the groundhog from Bloom County?

Ice Cream Jonsey wrote:

Tdarcos wrote:

AArdvark wrote:I totally understand Charlie Brown's complaint.

Well, at least it wasn't Portnoy's Complaint.

Whether or not I laugh and whether or not I consider this one of the 10 best posts in site history is 100% dependent on whether or not Tdarcos can answer this question without looking it up.

Paul, what is the name of the groundhog from Bloom County?

As I have never read any of Bloom County there is no way I could know for certain without looking it up, I'll take a wild guess and say the groundhog was named Bill the Cat. Or was it Bill Murray?

As I have never read any of Bloom County

BANNED!

I was just re-reading this thread and I thought it would make a great text adven....interactive fiction game. The player simply goes through all of the Commander's references and tries to figure out the common theme.

>look

You are in the middle of a Pagan ritual. 98% of the pagans are not working to produce food at any given time. Exits are west and east.

>east

You are standing in the middle of a wheat field. There is a large harvester bearing down on you, The farmer in the harvester is not holding the steering wheel. You should run!

>run away from harvester

You begin running away from the harvester, but you trip over the comics section of a newspaper. In between Beetle Baily and Cathy is a comic strip you have never read before. In your interest to see what the punchline is you read the strip. Unfortunately the wheat harvester runs you over before you finish.

you have died

your score is 6 out of a possible 350

THE
ABORT, RETRY, FAIL
AARDVARK

> read punchline

THBBFT!

Ice Cream Jonsey wrote:

Tdarcos wrote:

AArdvark wrote:I totally understand Charlie Brown's complaint.

Well, at least it wasn't Portnoy's Complaint.

Whether or not I laugh and whether or not I consider this one of the 10 best posts in site history is 100% dependent on whether or not Tdarcos can answer this question without looking it up.

Paul, what is the name of the groundhog from Bloom County?

Damn. So close. Now it's just another random Paul "joke".

I feel that we need to get Aardvark going into an upcoming mini comp, especially now that Hugo can be played on the web.

Saw this one today and thought it was funny...


A gingerbread man sits in a gingerbread house. Is the house made of flesh or is the gingerbread man made of house. The gingerbread man screams because he does not know.



THE
YOU CAN'T
HANDLE THE TRUTH
AARDVARK

AArdvark wrote:Saw this one today and thought it was funny...


A gingerbread man sits in a gingerbread house. Is the house made of flesh or is the gingerbread man made of house. The gingerbread man screams because he does not know.



THE
LAUGHS AT ANYTHING
AARDVARK

Two weeks in the troll room for you, because of this.

Get in there.

It's becoming obvious that I won't even have this terrible, makeshift family that tried to evict me over soaking dishes in the sink and taking out the trash, for Christmas. Let's not mention the girlfriend who routinely rattles my cage with the threat of breakup over being vaguely unhappy, knowing full well it'll leave me homeless.

I hate the holidays.

Retro "still here only because there isn't a gun in the house" Romper