Where teh hell is the drunk base?

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Expand view Topic review: Where teh hell is the drunk base?

Re: Where teh hell is the drunk base?

by Flack » Mon Jan 20, 2020 2:03 pm

Billy Mays wrote:
Mon Jan 20, 2020 8:50 am
Flack wrote:
Mon Jan 20, 2020 7:54 am
Conor McGregor once punched an elderly man in the face for not drinking a shot of his whiskey
From all of the whiskey videos I've seen so far of people reviewing Proper No. Twelve it looks like the elderly man made the right call.
Sorry, I don't watch videos about whiskey. I drink it.

Re: Where teh hell is the drunk base?

by Ice Cream Jonsey » Mon Jan 20, 2020 1:41 pm

I did think that Flack's Dad was going to kill every single person at that dealership. And we wouldn't question why he's still walking the streets because it was a fucking used car dealership.

Re: Where teh hell is the drunk base?

by pinback » Mon Jan 20, 2020 1:00 pm

Call 'em M*A*S*H Martinis. Straight out the still into yo mouf.

Re: Where teh hell is the drunk base?

by Casual Observer » Mon Jan 20, 2020 10:59 am

pinback wrote:
Sun Jan 19, 2020 7:19 am
My martinis were always Bombay Sapphire straight out of the freezer, with no other ingredients, so stirring/shaking was not an issue.
I have some Sapphire in the freezer now. I never called it a "Martini" but I guess by your definition I had a swig of "Martini" a half hour ago.

Re: Where teh hell is the drunk base?

by Billy Mays » Mon Jan 20, 2020 8:50 am

Flack wrote:
Mon Jan 20, 2020 7:54 am
Conor McGregor once punched an elderly man in the face for not drinking a shot of his whiskey
From all of the whiskey videos I've seen so far of people reviewing Proper No. Twelve it looks like the elderly man made the right call.

Re: Where teh hell is the drunk base?

by Flack » Mon Jan 20, 2020 7:54 am

Look, I don't want to shit on the martini drinking world at large. There are people, fine people, who drink martinis. That's great. There are people who drive Smart cars, those miserably tiny little cars that have the storage capacity of a shopping cart and yet somehow get worse mileage than a Honda Civic. There are professional wine tasters who have been fooled by adding red food coloring to white wine. Somebody, somewhere, paid to attend mime school. There are psychopaths out there removing working CRT monitors from arcade cabinets and replacing them with LCD panels. Fine people, all fine people.

Alls I'm sayin', Conor McGregor once punched an elderly man in the face for not drinking a shot of his whiskey, and maaaaaybe both sides were at fault.

Re: Where teh hell is the drunk base?

by Jizaboz » Mon Jan 20, 2020 12:08 am

Flack’s dad is fucking hardcore much like my dad.

Extra charge for butter! Fuck no. My limit for popcorn is 6-8$ and that should include a miserable small drink at least. At the crappy local theater you get a large popcorn and large drink and FREE butter substance for less that 8$ to go along with a 4.25 (that’s with tax) admission. Sure, it’s the ruins of the theater I originally saw Pee Wee Herman’s big adventure in (last renovation was 2010 and was quite minimal) but you can’t beat it for the price and the simple fact it’s still there and around the corner.

I know I’ve shared this story with Flack but probably not the rest of you this tiny story reminds me of.. my grandfather had just got some retirement stuff and won big in Atlantic City, Vegas or both. Decides to buy a brand new Japanese sports car around 1985. Wants a black Toyota Supra. Buys one at the local dealership who tells him he’ll have one driven over on a truck from another Toyota spot. Goes to claim the car. Dealership says no dealerships on the east coast, perhaps even in the US have a black Supra in stock with the options he has chosen and encourages him to pick another color. Says the only way they can get him one is a special order from Japan and that will cost a lot of money. Grandfather says “Then order one from Japan. I already bought it and signed the contract, so that’s your cost.” 2 months later he had the car at original price.

Re: Where teh hell is the drunk base?

by Billy Mays » Sun Jan 19, 2020 10:26 pm

Flack wrote:
Sun Jan 19, 2020 10:13 pm
my dad pulled a razor blade out of his wallet, made a beeline for the...
Who else reading this thought the story was about to go in a completely different direction than what it did because Irish?

Re: Where teh hell is the drunk base?

by Ice Cream Jonsey » Sun Jan 19, 2020 10:21 pm

Also, anytime I hear someone order a martini and they say "shaken, not stirred" I assume everything they know about alcohol came from watching 007 movies are are idiots. The only reason I would ever order a martini is if a the waiter told me their bar was out of every drink except martinis. Then I would order one and when he handed it to me I would throw it in his face and go to a real bar. And mark my words, I would write a blog post about that, too.
Whoa, Flack garbage daying martinis! I would not have guessed!

Three summers ago I started ordering Vespers at the restaurants in the sections of downtown Denver that were new and would absolutely have such a thing. Because we were within walking distance of home, it was easy to get as bombed as possible in as little time as possible. I started ordering these things and by the third sip of the second one it was easy to cross the line between buzzed and drunk. I suspected my wife didn't enjoy going out on a nice weekend day for 55 minutes before I was useless, so I stopped getting them. But the biggest reach in anything related to Bond stuff isn't him fighting a guy on the moon or having a gadget for every problem, it's drinking one of those shaken or stirred and not having to go immediately take a nap.

Re: Where teh hell is the drunk base?

by Flack » Sun Jan 19, 2020 10:13 pm

To be fair I don't hate the whole two drink minimum, same as I don't complain about those supersized four packs of Reese's cups. I just wish they would clarify their policy up front. Hell, charge $20 for admission and two drinks.

I went to the movies a few years back with my dad. We bought a large popcorn for $10. When my dad asked for butter, they said it would be another dollar. It's that kind of shit that just makes a place come off as cheap. I paid the dollar, even though my dad would rather choke on popcorn than pay an extra dollar for butter. And he loves butter. I was with my dad one time when he bought a new car. After all the paperwork had been signed, the floor manager came in and sighed a few times and then said we owed another $400 because he didn't realize that particular model had tinted windows. Here's the difference between me and my dad. I probably would have paid the money and then wrote a really scathing blog post about the ordeal a few days later. Instead, my dad pulled a razor blade out of his wallet, made a beeline for the door, and said he was going to scrape all the tint off the car. I don't remember how they talked him out of it but he got the tint for free. My dad is a fucking real man who doesn't pay assholes extra for tint or butter.

Also, anytime I hear someone order a martini and they say "shaken, not stirred" I assume everything they know about alcohol came from watching 007 movies are are idiots. The only reason I would ever order a martini is if a the waiter told me their bar was out of every drink except martinis. Then I would order one and when he handed it to me I would throw it in his face and go to a real bar. And mark my words, I would write a blog post about that, too.

Re: Where teh hell is the drunk base?

by Billy Mays » Sun Jan 19, 2020 1:14 pm

Ice Cream Jonsey wrote:
Sun Jan 19, 2020 10:20 am
Comedy Club owners are scum.
Yeah, and the acts unless they are well known names had to sell hundreds of tickets for the club themselves just to get their 5 minutes on stage and they know they'll likely get stiffed out of getting payed anyways.

Re: Where teh hell is the drunk base?

by Ice Cream Jonsey » Sun Jan 19, 2020 10:20 am

Flack wrote:
Sat Jan 11, 2020 5:06 pm
My wife and I went to a comedy club with another couple last night. The first comic (who was also the MC) was pretty terrible. The middle guy and the headliner were both good. I mean, not great -- they're performing in a comedy club located in a strip mall in the middle of Oklahoma on a snowy weekend, but -- you know, good.

Tickets are cheap enough and so we're inside and the waitress comes around and we hear a lot of talk about a one drink minimum. As I scan through the menu I see beers are $3.50 and most mixed drinks are $6.95 or $7.95 and then they have two drinks off to the side that are $10.95 and each one is 32oz! So the girls got small drinks and my friend and I got the big drinks. Each one had like six shots of alcohol plus a bunch of fruit juices. With a hint of sunscreen it would have tasted like every drink I ever had on a cruise ship.

Halfway through the show, the waitress comes around and I can't hear anything because everybody's whispering and the comic is super loud, but there seems to be some confusion because now there's a two drink minimum, which is not really a deal because we're all drinkers but it's a deal because if I thought I was going to have to drink two, the first one would not have been 32 ounces. So then there's more confusion and I guess someone said just order us another round, so before I know it another 32 ounce drink arrives, which everyone thinks is hilarious and since I'm the big drunk Irishman I consider it my duty to drink that one too. And then before we leave it becomes obvious that my friend is not drinking his, so I guess I drank that one, too.

Good times. Better times was today, when the kid had a music band performance and we spent 4-5 hours driving around and sitting in an auditorium and listening to a ninth grade band. Love my kid, love the band, but I don't bounce back like I used to, it appears.
One thing that bugs the shit out of me is that governments can't wait to throw us in prison if we get caught with two much BACs in our system, but there's an industry out there demanding you drink a certain amount and fuck society as to what happens after. If ever an industry deserved weeping asshole politicians regulating them it's that one.

I've been to places that have pulled the surprise two drink shit as well, Flack. If they feel they didn't make enough with one they send their poor staff out there to make it seem like it was ALWAYS two drinks and hope you won't argue with them and ruin the show. (If you knew it was two from the start you maybe don't order the giant drink off the top.) Comedy Club owners are scum.

Re: Where teh hell is the drunk base?

by Ice Cream Jonsey » Sun Jan 19, 2020 10:15 am

AArdvark wrote:
Sat Jan 18, 2020 3:15 pm
Image

Tonight! Martinis by the fire watching the night come on during one fuck of a snowstorm. I mean New York snow, bad enough but not that Colorado shit that buries your car till May
This is interesting to me. My perception has always been that snow melts after a day in Colorado but stays forever in Rochester.

Although since we moved, we do still have snow from November where we are now. But in the city of Denver, I'd say two days after snowfall it all typically melted.

Re: Where teh hell is the drunk base?

by AArdvark » Sun Jan 19, 2020 8:06 am

Once your fingers became unfrosted to the bottle you -could- have shaken the gin, right?

Actually, the business with the cocktail shaker is mostly for show, a sort of Saturday ritual that makes the drink just that much better. I could use a a Daffy Duck glass with a zippy straw and be just as happy, but it's the low-rent classy look I'm going for with the martini glass and shaker.

THE
BOND IN SLIPPERS LOOKING
AARDVARK

Re: Where teh hell is the drunk base?

by pinback » Sun Jan 19, 2020 7:19 am

My martinis were always Bombay Sapphire straight out of the freezer, with no other ingredients, so stirring/shaking was not an issue.

Re: Where teh hell is the drunk base?

by AArdvark » Sun Jan 19, 2020 5:52 am

I dont care if it's cloudy when served, ahminna still drink it.

Re: Where teh hell is the drunk base?

by Jizaboz » Sat Jan 18, 2020 11:58 pm

There are a few bar snobs that would argue the "shaken, not stirred" method Bond refers to is actually one of the most improper ways to serve a martini. I do not drink martinis, so I have no opinion on the matter.

Re: Where teh hell is the drunk base?

by Billy Mays » Sat Jan 18, 2020 8:03 pm

I was reading somewhere that the thing about Bond always taking his Martinis "shaken, not stirred" was because shaken is the savage way of preparing a martini since it strips out much of the nuance? Then in one of the more recent movies, Bond's favorite drink is a 50 year old Macallan that he drinks as a shot...

Re: Where teh hell is the drunk base?

by AArdvark » Sat Jan 18, 2020 3:15 pm

Image

Tonight! Martinis by the fire watching the night come on during one fuck of a snowstorm. I mean New York snow, bad enough but not that Colorado shit that buries your car till May

Anyway its nice and cozy, like a Christmas song sung by the Disney choir

Re: Where teh hell is the drunk base?

by AArdvark » Sat Jan 18, 2020 1:26 pm

I mean, we all know how it works right? There's no real protocol to drinking, aside from NOT throwing whiskey on the floor when tasting it. I remember a commercial for...some kind of glassware, I think. It was a fancy dress party, filmed from about shoulder height, you couldn't see anyone's faces. People were mingling about, holding drinks in fancy glasses and there was one person with a Daffy Duck water glass. It was supposed to shame you ( as the hostess) into buying expensive crystal glassware. I would be proud to be offered a drink in a Daffy Duck glass, no matter how much Chinese lead came with it. That's why I wouldn't watch the Youtube videos on how to drink.

THE
PORKY PIG PLUMBUM
AARDVARK

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