Where teh hell is the drunk base?

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Expand view Topic review: Where teh hell is the drunk base?

Re: Where teh hell is the drunk base?

by Ice Cream Jonsey » Sun Jan 19, 2020 10:20 am

Flack wrote:
Sat Jan 11, 2020 5:06 pm
My wife and I went to a comedy club with another couple last night. The first comic (who was also the MC) was pretty terrible. The middle guy and the headliner were both good. I mean, not great -- they're performing in a comedy club located in a strip mall in the middle of Oklahoma on a snowy weekend, but -- you know, good.

Tickets are cheap enough and so we're inside and the waitress comes around and we hear a lot of talk about a one drink minimum. As I scan through the menu I see beers are $3.50 and most mixed drinks are $6.95 or $7.95 and then they have two drinks off to the side that are $10.95 and each one is 32oz! So the girls got small drinks and my friend and I got the big drinks. Each one had like six shots of alcohol plus a bunch of fruit juices. With a hint of sunscreen it would have tasted like every drink I ever had on a cruise ship.

Halfway through the show, the waitress comes around and I can't hear anything because everybody's whispering and the comic is super loud, but there seems to be some confusion because now there's a two drink minimum, which is not really a deal because we're all drinkers but it's a deal because if I thought I was going to have to drink two, the first one would not have been 32 ounces. So then there's more confusion and I guess someone said just order us another round, so before I know it another 32 ounce drink arrives, which everyone thinks is hilarious and since I'm the big drunk Irishman I consider it my duty to drink that one too. And then before we leave it becomes obvious that my friend is not drinking his, so I guess I drank that one, too.

Good times. Better times was today, when the kid had a music band performance and we spent 4-5 hours driving around and sitting in an auditorium and listening to a ninth grade band. Love my kid, love the band, but I don't bounce back like I used to, it appears.
One thing that bugs the shit out of me is that governments can't wait to throw us in prison if we get caught with two much BACs in our system, but there's an industry out there demanding you drink a certain amount and fuck society as to what happens after. If ever an industry deserved weeping asshole politicians regulating them it's that one.

I've been to places that have pulled the surprise two drink shit as well, Flack. If they feel they didn't make enough with one they send their poor staff out there to make it seem like it was ALWAYS two drinks and hope you won't argue with them and ruin the show. (If you knew it was two from the start you maybe don't order the giant drink off the top.) Comedy Club owners are scum.

Re: Where teh hell is the drunk base?

by Ice Cream Jonsey » Sun Jan 19, 2020 10:15 am

AArdvark wrote:
Sat Jan 18, 2020 3:15 pm
Image

Tonight! Martinis by the fire watching the night come on during one fuck of a snowstorm. I mean New York snow, bad enough but not that Colorado shit that buries your car till May
This is interesting to me. My perception has always been that snow melts after a day in Colorado but stays forever in Rochester.

Although since we moved, we do still have snow from November where we are now. But in the city of Denver, I'd say two days after snowfall it all typically melted.

Re: Where teh hell is the drunk base?

by AArdvark » Sun Jan 19, 2020 8:06 am

Once your fingers became unfrosted to the bottle you -could- have shaken the gin, right?

Actually, the business with the cocktail shaker is mostly for show, a sort of Saturday ritual that makes the drink just that much better. I could use a a Daffy Duck glass with a zippy straw and be just as happy, but it's the low-rent classy look I'm going for with the martini glass and shaker.

THE
BOND IN SLIPPERS LOOKING
AARDVARK

Re: Where teh hell is the drunk base?

by pinback » Sun Jan 19, 2020 7:19 am

My martinis were always Bombay Sapphire straight out of the freezer, with no other ingredients, so stirring/shaking was not an issue.

Re: Where teh hell is the drunk base?

by AArdvark » Sun Jan 19, 2020 5:52 am

I dont care if it's cloudy when served, ahminna still drink it.

Re: Where teh hell is the drunk base?

by Jizaboz » Sat Jan 18, 2020 11:58 pm

There are a few bar snobs that would argue the "shaken, not stirred" method Bond refers to is actually one of the most improper ways to serve a martini. I do not drink martinis, so I have no opinion on the matter.

Re: Where teh hell is the drunk base?

by Billy Mays » Sat Jan 18, 2020 8:03 pm

I was reading somewhere that the thing about Bond always taking his Martinis "shaken, not stirred" was because shaken is the savage way of preparing a martini since it strips out much of the nuance? Then in one of the more recent movies, Bond's favorite drink is a 50 year old Macallan that he drinks as a shot...

Re: Where teh hell is the drunk base?

by AArdvark » Sat Jan 18, 2020 3:15 pm

Image

Tonight! Martinis by the fire watching the night come on during one fuck of a snowstorm. I mean New York snow, bad enough but not that Colorado shit that buries your car till May

Anyway its nice and cozy, like a Christmas song sung by the Disney choir

Re: Where teh hell is the drunk base?

by AArdvark » Sat Jan 18, 2020 1:26 pm

I mean, we all know how it works right? There's no real protocol to drinking, aside from NOT throwing whiskey on the floor when tasting it. I remember a commercial for...some kind of glassware, I think. It was a fancy dress party, filmed from about shoulder height, you couldn't see anyone's faces. People were mingling about, holding drinks in fancy glasses and there was one person with a Daffy Duck water glass. It was supposed to shame you ( as the hostess) into buying expensive crystal glassware. I would be proud to be offered a drink in a Daffy Duck glass, no matter how much Chinese lead came with it. That's why I wouldn't watch the Youtube videos on how to drink.

THE
PORKY PIG PLUMBUM
AARDVARK

Re: Where teh hell is the drunk base?

by Billy Mays » Sat Jan 18, 2020 12:05 pm

Well, I've learned that some of the best things in life are superfluousicity.

Good to see you too, THE.

Re: Where teh hell is the drunk base?

by AArdvark » Sat Jan 18, 2020 11:01 am

I dont believe I would ever watch a YouTube channel called How to Drink, based on its superfluousicity.

Re: Where teh hell is the drunk base?

by The Happiness Engine » Sat Jan 18, 2020 10:54 am

Did you really come back just to reanimate your tired lies about drinking? PLEASE fuck right back off to wherever you went the first time.

Re: Where teh hell is the drunk base?

by Billy Mays » Sat Jan 18, 2020 10:29 am

pinback wrote:
Sat Jan 18, 2020 6:22 am
but how about:

[strawberry lemonade and bourbon]
No, I don't believe so but that does look really good and if a waitress brought that out to me instead of a manhattan I'd be happy with it too.

Re: Where teh hell is the drunk base?

by Billy Mays » Sat Jan 18, 2020 10:19 am

AArdvark wrote:
Sat Jan 18, 2020 5:27 am
Did you think it was a little weird that she brought you something besides what you ordered?
No, I was mainly thinking about how much I wanted to bang the waitress at the time and/or get some sort of booze in my system.

AArdvark wrote:
Sat Jan 18, 2020 5:27 am
Glad you liked it though, have you ever tried to recreate it?
No, but I have been watching a lot of this guy and I have considered getting one of those sets of bartender tool kits that he uses and who sponsor his channel:

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCioZY1 ... -yodw8_cBQ

Re: Where teh hell is the drunk base?

by pinback » Sat Jan 18, 2020 6:22 am

Obviously, and as is tradition, I don't believe a single thing about Billy's fabricated, ridiculous story, but how about:

https://www.today.com/recipes/bourbon-s ... ade-t91216

Re: Where teh hell is the drunk base?

by AArdvark » Sat Jan 18, 2020 5:27 am

Did you think it was a little weird that she brought you something besides what you ordered?

"Mr. Mays, I know you ordered a gin fizz but here's a rum and cosby."

Glad you liked it though, have you ever tried to recreate it?

Also: Googling cocktails = booze pr0n. Two thumbs up!

THE
LIQUID CENTERFOLD
AARDVARK

Re: Where teh hell is the drunk base?

by Billy Mays » Sat Jan 18, 2020 12:59 am

Just a quick disclaimer: this was supposed to be the story of the first cocktail I've ever had which was last week but upon writing it I do remember I've had the occasional well gin kamikaze, redbull mixed with insert popular at the time cheap liquor, and bar floor abortions in the past. So this is now the first cocktail that made me seriously consider alcoholism as a sound direction to take in life.

I was at a nice restaurant the other day and since I wasn't driving, a foreign concept here, I decided to try a cocktail for the first time. I wanted to try a classic drink since I was only going to have one (now I'm just speaking in tongues). I knew I had to limit myself to one because eventually I would have to drive home from my friend's house so the long island iced tea and Flack's gargle blasters were both off the table for consideration...for now...I thought about it long and hard until my friend snapped at me and said just get the fucking drink already so I chose a manhattan.

I never had one before but I knew what they looked like from reading the posts here and sometimes I just type in cocktail into google and scroll through all of the images. So needless to say it came as a surprise when the waitress came back with a pink, and I mean flamingo pink, drink with crushed ice in a rock glass that was garnished with a slice of orange.

She explained to me that I might like this more so she took the liberty of changing my order but if it didn't suit me that she would change it out for the manhattan. I took one methodical sip as she stood smiling inquisitively and I experienced true happiness for the first time in my entire life. And by true happiness I mean if I could have somehow acquired enough of this drink I would abandon everything I know and love in life to be an underpass wino. I told her that this drink was absolutely amazing and thanked her for it and she seemed more relieved to be able to return to her other duties than my approval of her drink selection but before leaving she said she was happy that I liked it and told me what it was called but I didn't quite catch the name of the drink so I asked if she could repeat herself and for some odd reason I didn't catch the name on the second time and I didn't want to seem like a bother so I just nodded and said ok and thanked her as if I heard what she said when I really didn't.

I then asked my friend what the waitress said the name of the drink was and he said didn't you hear her and I said no and then he said it and I didn't hear it because he was more focused on his steak at the time and when I asked him again he said it again in a shooing manner with a slight flicker of his steak knife and I didn't hear it then either so I just let it go.

It had a faint taste of coconut and obviously citrus from the orange garnish but the main flavor was fruit of some sort, tropical fruit maybe? It was very fruity and exotic tasting. I did catch from the waitress that it had knob creek in it as the primary spirit but I couldn't tell and I've drank a good bit of knob creek neat as its something I always keep stocked up on.

Re: Where teh hell is the drunk base?

by Jizaboz » Mon Jan 13, 2020 9:43 pm

Sounds like a good time other than the next day.

Re: Where teh hell is the drunk base?

by Flack » Sat Jan 11, 2020 5:06 pm

My wife and I went to a comedy club with another couple last night. The first comic (who was also the MC) was pretty terrible. The middle guy and the headliner were both good. I mean, not great -- they're performing in a comedy club located in a strip mall in the middle of Oklahoma on a snowy weekend, but -- you know, good.

Tickets are cheap enough and so we're inside and the waitress comes around and we hear a lot of talk about a one drink minimum. As I scan through the menu I see beers are $3.50 and most mixed drinks are $6.95 or $7.95 and then they have two drinks off to the side that are $10.95 and each one is 32oz! So the girls got small drinks and my friend and I got the big drinks. Each one had like six shots of alcohol plus a bunch of fruit juices. With a hint of sunscreen it would have tasted like every drink I ever had on a cruise ship.

Halfway through the show, the waitress comes around and I can't hear anything because everybody's whispering and the comic is super loud, but there seems to be some confusion because now there's a two drink minimum, which is not really a deal because we're all drinkers but it's a deal because if I thought I was going to have to drink two, the first one would not have been 32 ounces. So then there's more confusion and I guess someone said just order us another round, so before I know it another 32 ounce drink arrives, which everyone thinks is hilarious and since I'm the big drunk Irishman I consider it my duty to drink that one too. And then before we leave it becomes obvious that my friend is not drinking his, so I guess I drank that one, too.

Good times. Better times was today, when the kid had a music band performance and we spent 4-5 hours driving around and sitting in an auditorium and listening to a ninth grade band. Love my kid, love the band, but I don't bounce back like I used to, it appears.

Re: Where teh hell is the drunk base?

by pinback » Sat Jan 11, 2020 6:45 am

Shameful.

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