Lawn Etiquette, is that a thing?

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Expand view Topic review: Lawn Etiquette, is that a thing?

Re: Lawn Etiquette, is that a thing?

by The Happiness Engine » Sun Oct 11, 2020 4:53 pm

AArdvark wrote: Sun Oct 11, 2020 1:09 pm ps does anyone else mow with booze in the drink holder?
When I was young enough that this was a chore I instead set the tractor to full speed and made a game about whether I was going to crash into various non-lawn objects. I always won that part, but the... quality of the cut might not have been what my father would like.

Re: Lawn Etiquette, is that a thing?

by AArdvark » Sun Oct 11, 2020 1:59 pm

Excellent!

Re: Lawn Etiquette, is that a thing?

by pinback » Sun Oct 11, 2020 1:46 pm

No, you chug a beer when you start, and then chug another one every time you swing past the house.

Re: Lawn Etiquette, is that a thing?

by AArdvark » Sun Oct 11, 2020 1:09 pm

Everyone around me is retired so they have nothing to do but tend to their yards and watch Guiding Light, or whatever. The guy across the street apparently cuts his lawn with scissors, it's so immaculate. I swear he's got some kind of leaf sensor so when a tree sheds onto his front green he's out there raking within minutes.

Well, I'm glad to know there's no unwritten protocol about yardwork. I will continue to mow at my convenience regardless of the neighbors, and I will feel no guilt.

ps does anyone else mow with booze in the drink holder?

THE
JACK RIDES
SHOTGUN
AARDVARK

Re: Lawn Etiquette, is that a thing?

by Ice Cream Jonsey » Sun Oct 11, 2020 11:20 am

I generally believe that the type of people who get up at 5 to work on their lawn are losers (I've seen threads about this on various forums and they are sooo snotty and such pieces of shit, but what it comes down to is that they are giant pussies that cry like babies if they have to "work in the sun" so if that means the mower starts at a quarter after five, too bad - selfish pieces of shit) but the fact that apparently they are all shy pissers about it and won't do it if someone else is, thus extending the days and hours they ruin ... that's amazing. That's a level of psychopathic selfishness I didn't know they had it in them.

Re: Lawn Etiquette, is that a thing?

by AArdvark » Sun Oct 11, 2020 6:34 am

Anyone else it would be

Re: Lawn Etiquette, is that a thing?

by Tdarcos » Sun Oct 11, 2020 3:48 am

AArdvark wrote: Sat Oct 10, 2020 4:40 pm I really believe this is a thing. Maybe it's just my neighbors, but it feels weird.

Commander, why is everything perverted in your world? Public masturbation? Seriously? I'm just trying to cut my lawn.
Expletives R. Deleted! Doesn't anyone understand hyperbole and satire anymore? I figured that comment would be so ridiculously over the top nobody could possibly believe it was anything but silly exaggeration.

Re: Lawn Etiquette, is that a thing?

by Casual Observer » Sun Oct 11, 2020 1:53 am

Flack wrote: Sat Oct 10, 2020 7:59 pm You might be on to something, 'Vark. My three neighbors (left, right, and across the street) love yardwork so much that each of them spend two days a week working on their lawns, but none of them do it when the others are out. That means six out of seven days every week, someone is either mowing, edging, or weed eating. Actually it's seven, because on the seventh day my lawn guy shows up and his crew takes care of the entire yard in about an hour.
This is starting to sound like a question from a cognitive test or SAT.

Re: Lawn Etiquette, is that a thing?

by pinback » Sat Oct 10, 2020 7:59 pm

AArdvark wrote: Sat Oct 10, 2020 4:40 pm I really believe this is a thing.
The answer I gave is the most likely. And my answer is completely insane (I think.)

"One mower at a time" is not a thing.

Re: Lawn Etiquette, is that a thing?

by Flack » Sat Oct 10, 2020 7:59 pm

You might be on to something, 'Vark. My three neighbors (left, right, and across the street) love yardwork so much that each of them spend two days a week working on their lawns, but none of them do it when the others are out. That means six out of seven days every week, someone is either mowing, edging, or weed eating. Actually it's seven, because on the seventh day my lawn guy shows up and his crew takes care of the entire yard in about an hour.

Re: Lawn Etiquette, is that a thing?

by pinback » Sat Oct 10, 2020 7:45 pm

AArdvark wrote: Sat Oct 10, 2020 1:59 pm When's the last time you mowed grass?
If you know what I mean.

Re: Lawn Etiquette, is that a thing?

by Billy Mays » Sat Oct 10, 2020 4:53 pm

Re: Lawn Etiquette, is that a thing?

by AArdvark » Sat Oct 10, 2020 4:40 pm

I really believe this is a thing. Maybe it's just my neighbors, but it feels weird.

Commander, why is everything perverted in your world? Public masturbation? Seriously? I'm just trying to cut my lawn.

THE
GRASS EJACULATION
AARDVARK

Re: Lawn Etiquette, is that a thing?

by The Happiness Engine » Sat Oct 10, 2020 2:43 pm

This is completely insane as someone who mowed lawns with wild abandon as a teenager. I can't even CONCEIVE of how this isn't a complete fabrication.

Re: Lawn Etiquette, is that a thing?

by bryanb » Sat Oct 10, 2020 2:30 pm

I think it's reflective of a change in the culture. When I was growing up, I remember it not being uncommon to see multiple neighbors mowing at the same time. Now I think people are more likely to want some privacy as they mow. Honestly, I feel that way myself. I generally wait for quiet, bystander-free times to mow (part of the reason I don't mow that much). You don't want a nosy neighbor judging your technique or your rig. Also, the Rand Paul attack was a watershed (if not woodshed) moment that illustrated just how dangerous lawn work can be. You never know when a neighbor is going to get so pissed off about your mowing or brush management that he attacks you from behind and breaks your ribs. Who wants the aggravation, really?

The good news is I don't think it's personal. Does your left neighbor ever mow at the same time as the right neighbor or any of their other neighbors? I doubt that they're angry with you personally. Maybe they feel a little annoyed that they have to stop mowing whenever you start, but you can fix that by just waiting for them to finish before you start. Maybe the neighborhood could start posting weekly mowing schedules so no toes get stepped on.

Re: Lawn Etiquette, is that a thing?

by Tdarcos » Sat Oct 10, 2020 2:27 pm

AArdvark wrote: Sat Oct 10, 2020 1:59 pm When's the last time you mowed grass?
Probably not in 30 years. We had an electric lawnmower and a string trimmer, for places you can't reach, like within about a meter of the fire hydrant at the corner of our front lawn. Whenever the lawn got too long (by my mother's estimate) I'd cut it, probably every 2-3 weeks. When I no longer had a lawn I stopped cutting it.

Re: Lawn Etiquette, is that a thing?

by AArdvark » Sat Oct 10, 2020 1:59 pm

When's the last time you mowed grass?

Re: Lawn Etiquette, is that a thing?

by Tdarcos » Sat Oct 10, 2020 1:37 pm

Dear Guilt Rider:

Yes, you should be concerned. Mowing one's lawn is a sacred duty, not to be taken lightly, and like the Bible teaches us about prayer in Mathew 6:6, should only be done in secret. Your neighborhood welcoming committee should have given you the Universal Rules of Lawn Mowing Etiquette, which say, "Always treat mowing your lawn according to the Standard Rules For Masturbating in Public: do it only when no one is around or no one can see you; hide the use of the equipment so as not to bother neighbors; and be sure to clean up after yourself when you're finished playing around."

Hope this helps,
Sincerely,
Lnn Aanders

Re: Lawn Etiquette, is that a thing?

by AArdvark » Sat Oct 10, 2020 12:01 pm

Now, I'm being serious here, is it a thing? I want to know if anyone has seen/ heard of stuff like this. I don't want to be a pariah of my street. Cracking wise isn't helping, and I know you want to help

Re: Lawn Etiquette, is that a thing?

by pinback » Sat Oct 10, 2020 11:45 am

Maybe they just can't stand the sight of ya?

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