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The Top 100 Games of All Time
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Ice Cream Jonsey



Joined: 27 Apr 2002
Posts: 20088
Location: Colorado

PostPosted: Sat Sep 23, 2006 1:14 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

#16 - RESIDENT EVIL 4

Gamecube



RE4 is the only game I have for the Gamecube. It's actually a fantastic little console with a very pleasing controller and while there wasn't much else that interested me available for it, Resident Evil 4 made up for it. Nobody does pack-in games any longer and I do recognize that Nintendo would have had to have put a violent game from Capcom in their system and... yeah, wasn't going to happen.

The first Resident Evil game was a huge deal for the original Playstation. This would have been around 1995. How do I know it was a big deal? It was the only game to get black guys into the EB I worked at. Let me explain.

The clientele of the EB at Marketplace Mall 11 years ago was essentially made up of childless white guys and Magic: The Gathering players. I'm not going to say that these CWGs were ugly or hunchbacked or anything. They were just normal guys. On those occasions that they came into the store with a gal that gal would be nice and/or nice looking. The 600 pound, acne-riddled goomba who wore glasses with lenses thicker than the Hubble is more fiction than fact.

Black guys would show up en masse twice: when the new Madden game came out and when the new NBA Live game came out. It's not racist if it's true. Hey, the Asian early-twentysomethings only came out in droves for a Final Fantasy game. I'm just relaying the facts here.

Resident Evil was a big enough hit that everybody wanted it. They wanted to fuckin' own it. Everyone had to have it. I was years away from owning a Playstation so for quite the longest time I didn't "get" Resident Evil.

One Sunday I closed down the store. We had a demo PS and a used copy of RE. I plugged it in and played a little. The dog jumping out of the window was very frightening, yes. The voice acting was just as hilarious as I knew it would be. Hilariously bad, to clarify. What stunk were the controls. Pressing "up" moved your forward regardless of how you were aligned. I still don't like that scheme much. If I recall correctly, at least one of the other Resident Evil games had the same scheme. Not a fan.

Luckily, RE4 does this over-the-shoulder thing and eliminates the dodgy dude movin' (DMM, (C) (TM)).

It's also BALLS DEEP WITH ZOMBIE KILLING ACTION!!! There's fuckin' THAT, too. The game is a nonstop gore fest. I don't often talk about a game's graphics, but they are incredible here. The art direction will render you speechless. There's even some nonsense about how the people you encounter aren't zombies but mind controlled or something -- hey, whatever. They are eastern European, they shamble and they go down only when you shoot them in the face. It was a matter of time before the word "zombie" got too good for people, but nobody truly cares about naming scheme.

There is a difference in this game between puzzles and what I will call "action missions." At one point you have a big stone wheel and you need to manipulate and interpret glyphs from. When I see a puzzle like that I check to see if the case mentions "Internet Connection Required." This is due to the fact that stupid shit like that will immediately make me shamble over to Gamefaqs and get the walkthrough for that puzzle. This is bad.

On the other hand, RE4 is the first game I played that has you boarding up windows and moving refrigerators into doorjams to stop an onslaught of a slowly approaching hive-mass. It's in almost every horror movie and I credit Capcom for putting it in a game.

There are lots of great little touches. At one point you are escorting a girl around. OK, that's actually the entire point of the game, but bear with me here. She is wearing a dress and you can help her climb ladders. If you pervertedly try to catch a glimpse she will call you out on it. I always wonder if the guy who brought that together comes home and tells his wife what he did that day. I am thinking that it becomes more of a, "Yeah, I had a problem with CVS that I needed to configure through" deal. At least that's what I say when I spend the day writing panty code.

Perhaps you're still not convinced, so I'll leave you with this. Resident Evil 4's protagonist is named Leon and he has a boy band haircut. He looks like a complete keyfob. Regardless, he is still a badass and one of the better action game characters out there. I still root for him. Hey, nobody's saying that about Tidus.
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Last edited by Ice Cream Jonsey on Sun Sep 24, 2006 1:32 am; edited 2 times in total
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Lex



Joined: 27 Apr 2002
Posts: 971
Location: Scotland, Bonnie

PostPosted: Sat Sep 23, 2006 2:17 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I bought Resident Evil I for the trip from Bournemouth back to Edinburgh, on the DS.

On the DS this game is not one of the top 100 games of all time.

Let me explain what has been destroyed in making this, technologically superior, game:

3. Some touchscreen bits have been tacked on: Actually tacked on, like hanging by a single, plastic tac. Walk through a door, it's first person! There's a zombie! Shoot? No, get out the knife and rub spastically at the DS screen for a few minutes. When it cuts back to the normal game the room you just entered still has zombies in it, zombies which were not visible from first person but are now standing in the middle of the room. It is annoying.

2. There is no suspense. The DS is cartridge based, and now you can press "A" to skip the door-opening, stair-ascending fearflicks. This combined with

1. You know exactly what you're doing ruins any scary aspect of the game. The top screen is a MAP. Yuk it up, but what that actually translates to is a perfect representation of where you are at any given time, and where you are going. Gone is the claustrophobic fear of trying to remember vaguely which door leeds to a room you might be able to put this green gem in, navigating the twisty passages of a mansion: There it is, your saviour, hovering above you with a little yellow dot moving about it in real-time.

This map, above all other things, ruins Resident Evil 1 on the DS. There is no suspense when you are running straight from one puzzle to another, exactly aware of where every room is.

There's also that the controls were not updated & that neither were the character models, but the above three really take away any kind of suspense.

So, buy Resident Evil DS if you want a 3D puzzle game with fucking awful controls and, yes, fucking easy puzzles.
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Lysander



Joined: 08 Jul 2003
Posts: 1694
Location: East Bay, California.

PostPosted: Sat Sep 23, 2006 2:48 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Resident Evil I on the gamecube, however, is brilliance. Robb, you might be interested in RE0 because they actually did do something interesting with the controls: it is a "partner" game, where oyu play as two different characters. SO with the press of a button, you switch from being Rebecca to being Billy. Anyway, if you liked the horror movie tropes of RE4 you'll love Outbreak for the PS2, boarding up doors and blocking off zombies with a car and stuff is what that whole game is about. (Although the fact that the AI PCs are terrible and there is no headset support for multiplayer (deliberate!) will preclude this game from ever making it onto anyone's top 100 list.)
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pinback



Joined: 27 Apr 2002
Posts: 12029

PostPosted: Mon Sep 25, 2006 12:38 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Let's up these to two-at-a-time.
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bruce



Joined: 04 Jun 2002
Posts: 2547

PostPosted: Mon Sep 25, 2006 4:21 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

pinback wrote:
Let's up these to two-at-a-time.


Hey, Rod Johnson, if you want to control how the list presentation goes, then why don't you start your own fucking....

Oh.

Never mind.

Bruce
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Lysander



Joined: 08 Jul 2003
Posts: 1694
Location: East Bay, California.

PostPosted: Mon Sep 25, 2006 4:26 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

This is hilarious coming from the guy who hasn't updated his list in a MONTH.
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Ice Cream Jonsey



Joined: 27 Apr 2002
Posts: 20088
Location: Colorado

PostPosted: Fri Oct 06, 2006 4:24 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

pinback wrote:
It took until 83rd, but we finally got a decent goddamn game on this list.

There is one major flaw in Tempest, though, which I think needs to be addressed here:

By holding down the fire button, the spikes cease to become a threat while you're warping to the next level, rendering their entire existence, much like my own, pointless.

Discuss?


You can only do that if the spikes are not of a particularly long length. And your speed down the tubes does increase at one point, making it even fewer spikes that can be there.

Completely different game with the arcade spinner, I should say. Completely different game than the spinner I bought previously, I should say, which did not survive my disassembly, dissection and analysis particularly well.

In fact:

Quote:
83. Tempest
77. Bump n' Jump


Yeah, I sort of fucked that one up. There is a locally available Bump n' Jump for $300 that I could have picked up at any time (and could still pick up). And yet.
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Vitriola



Joined: 10 Mar 2003
Posts: 2426

PostPosted: Fri Oct 06, 2006 4:54 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

WHOSNEXT
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Ice Cream Jonsey



Joined: 27 Apr 2002
Posts: 20088
Location: Colorado

PostPosted: Fri Oct 06, 2006 5:53 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

#15 - FREESPACE II

IBM PC



Friends, I would like to tell you about a company called Interplay.

Interplay used to make (well, publish) some fucking fantastic games. Games like Wasteland, Tass Times in Tonetown, Fallout, The Bard's Tale, Descent and, yes, Freespace II.

Times became tough for Interplay as they cancelled some games that would have obviously saved them. You can't have a thread along the lines of, "What cancelled games would you like to see made?" and not have "Secret of Vulcan Fury" turn up.

If I may demonstrate just how incompetent Interplay truly was, copies of Freespace II were going for $100 on eBay... while Interplay had left the game completely out of print. This happened for years. And Freespace II has a license that says it's totally cool to distribute. People didn't care. They wanted the game so badly that they were willing to pay that much just to add it to their collections.

Interplay finally woke up, right before they finally went bankrupt, and put Freespace II back on the shelves. How many copies were they going to sell for this thing? Still an older game, it worked fine in XP and surely, for twenty five bucks or so they'd... er... well...

Yeah, they wanted $50 plus shipping and tax for it off their webpage.

Jesus Fucking Christ.

But I'm not here to talk about how bad Interplay the publisher was. I'm here to talk about how fucking great Freespace II is. FS2 is a space sim where you fly a ship straight into the maw of dozens of enemy space ships, killing every last fucking one of them while your often-useless wingmen give you crap, even though the game couldn't display your kill ratio next to theirs due to computers crashing when one tries to divide infinity by fucking zero. Your wingmen are so bad I'm surprised that Greg doesn't go drinking with them. They are useless and we like it that way, because it lets you be the star.

We humans quite like being the star.

The ships you face are dexterous, gigantic, or both. One such ship, the GTVA Colossus, is "six kilometers" big and in the game you get a feeling for every single centimeter. The ship has its own three-page-down entry in Wikipedia. That's how big it is. Someone could attempt to whittle that down to a sentence and angry Wikipedians would immediately get that person banned, I'm sure of it. Don't fuck with the GTVA Colossus under any circumstances!

There are missions in FS2 and a compelling storyline, but let's not too congratulatory about the story because I don't remember a single word from it. The magic happens when you are out in pitch black space among some other ships that are just plain gorgeous, firing off the many weapons at your disposal. I actually used a joystick I won from Panther, called the Panther XL to play the thing. Fantastic joystick, complete with a lit trackball.

I didn't put Flight Simulator on this list. Freespace II knocks it off and in my opinion, blows away every other space sim ever made. It's that good.
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Jack Straw



Joined: 01 May 2002
Posts: 1578
Location: R.O.C.

PostPosted: Fri Oct 06, 2006 5:59 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

man, we're getting down to the wire.
I don't know what I'll do with myself once we get to #1.
Mass suicide, anyone? We'll make yahoo! news...
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Ice Cream Jonsey



Joined: 27 Apr 2002
Posts: 20088
Location: Colorado

PostPosted: Fri Oct 06, 2006 7:17 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I have a very important announcement when I get to #1 that I think everyone will enjoy. (It has not been previously mentioned or hinted anywhere.)
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bruce



Joined: 04 Jun 2002
Posts: 2547

PostPosted: Fri Oct 06, 2006 7:19 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

You're going to supply hookers and blow for all of us?

Bruce
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Ice Cream Jonsey



Joined: 27 Apr 2002
Posts: 20088
Location: Colorado

PostPosted: Fri Oct 06, 2006 9:31 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

bruce wrote:
You're going to supply hookers and blow for all of us?


This will be EVEN BETTER than that. A hooker you can fuck once, blow you can snort once this - THIS, Bruce... will last forever.
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Ice Cream Jonsey



Joined: 27 Apr 2002
Posts: 20088
Location: Colorado

PostPosted: Fri Oct 06, 2006 9:41 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

#14 - ULTIMA VII: THE BLACK GATE

IBM PC



Sinistar could say about seven things, one of which was, "I hunger!" Sinistar didn't make this list. Don't fuck with me when it comes to the much-hated hunger code.

Ultima 7 starts off with a murder mystery and a fully interactive environment. Even the designers weren't completely aware of the weird-ass things you could do in this game: they wanted you to remain in the first city until the first quest was done. If you do some crate stacking on your own, however, you can get the f out of dodge and go exploring whatever you damn well please. If you choose not to you're going to experience a fever pace and one of the very best beginnings of any game, ever.

Ultima 7 is essentially a game about a guy and his friends trying to do some right in the world. Hunger code aside, Ultima VII: The Black Gate is the second best role playing game ever made. Feel free to insert the version that you liked best, Ultima 6, Ultima 3, Ultima 4... these are all good choices. Ultima 5 might be the best of them all but it suffered (at the time) from much-dated graphics, even to people who don't care about such things. The legacy that these games have will never be forgotten.

I met Richard Garriot at E3 once and he is the nicest guy in the world. He made some seriously fun video games and it's unfortunate that EA basically told him, "Finish Ultima 9 by Thanksgiving or it's cancelled" and caused him to end a storyline that had spanned years in order to satisfy some of the very worst people in the world. Let me put it this way: when I met Richard Garriot I had not even made my own unwanted, unwelcome contributions to a subgenre of computer game that nobody plays. I had done even less than I had done now and I'm sure he smelled that. Didn't stop him from asking how I was, where I worked, what the hell I was doing at E3 without really asking what the hell I was doing at E3. I think a lot of times developers and designers get a bad rep for whatever reason, but this guy gave us 7 rock-solid games, Ultima 8 and Ultima 9 (which I understand is fine in 2006 with a Glide wrapper). Nice guys don't finish last, they sometimes finish 14th in a list of 100, and that's with making one of the true "desert island" games in U7. I haven't finished it and I probably never will, but damn if there isn't plenty to do, things to kill and other mysteries to solve.

"I must have food immediately" -- Iolo

I'm laughing at you, Iolo! Ha! Haaaa! Ha!
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Ice Cream Jonsey



Joined: 27 Apr 2002
Posts: 20088
Location: Colorado

PostPosted: Fri Oct 06, 2006 9:43 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Nobody's going to be pissed if we wrap up this 15 month thread this weekend, right?
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bruce



Joined: 04 Jun 2002
Posts: 2547

PostPosted: Fri Oct 06, 2006 10:35 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Ice Cream Jonsey wrote:
Nobody's going to be pissed if we wrap up this 15 month thread this weekend, right?


I have a guess about what Jonsey's surprise is and why it can't wait.

Feel free.

Bruce
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Ice Cream Jonsey



Joined: 27 Apr 2002
Posts: 20088
Location: Colorado

PostPosted: Fri Oct 06, 2006 11:16 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Wait, seriously? Now I am interested in what you think it is. Maybe your idea is better than mine, in which case we should do your thing.
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bruce



Joined: 04 Jun 2002
Posts: 2547

PostPosted: Fri Oct 06, 2006 11:35 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Ice Cream Jonsey wrote:
Wait, seriously? Now I am interested in what you think it is. Maybe your idea is better than mine, in which case we should do your thing.


Uh, no.

If the thing I'm thinking of isn't the thing you're thinking of, you really don't want the idea for that thing coming from me when you present it. Seriously, dude.

Let me think of another thing. OK, I've got the other thing. You're going to announce that you have a DVD image (or DVD set) of all these games, plus emulators for them, and we can torrent it from you.

Which would be really cool, but I could also use some hookers and blow.

Bruce
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Draal



Joined: 15 Dec 2004
Posts: 260

PostPosted: Sat Oct 07, 2006 4:45 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I have an expierence with Black Gate. Its a fine aspect and interesting idea. Really.
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Ice Cream Jonsey



Joined: 27 Apr 2002
Posts: 20088
Location: Colorado

PostPosted: Sat Oct 07, 2006 10:58 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Draal wrote:
I have an expierence with Black Gate. Its a fine aspect and interesting idea. Really.


You have come back to us, Draal, and come back on the side of reason. It's good to see, m'man.
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