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The Top 100 Games of All Time
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chris



Joined: 01 May 2002
Posts: 604
Location: Hiding in the workshop

PostPosted: Wed Jun 29, 2005 7:27 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

pinback wrote:
See, why can't he just stay in the cars/politics base?

Because as your mortal enemy, I'm required to follow you to the ends of the earth. Or to this base.
Quote:

Just stay in the cars/politics base, chris. Please. C'mon.


Fuck no. I may not be inclined to read your verbose rambing diatribes in their entirity, but I've been playing computer games since 19 fucking 80. I paid $41.95 for my copy of Atari 2600 Pac-Man. I spent countless hours playing "Jumpman Jr." in high school instead of getting my physics homework done. I have original copies of the New Zork Times newsletter around here someplace. I can contribute to this thread.

And if "The Lurking Horror" isn't on this list, I'm going to put snakes in everybody's bed.
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pinback



Joined: 27 Apr 2002
Posts: 12029

PostPosted: Wed Jun 29, 2005 7:31 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Jonsey, are The Lurking Horror and Jumpman Jr. on the list? And if not: WHY.

Because, though for hate's sake, I'd spit my last breath at this man, he's exactly goddamn right.
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Ice Cream Jonsey



Joined: 27 Apr 2002
Posts: 20088
Location: Colorado

PostPosted: Wed Jun 29, 2005 8:28 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

pinback wrote:
What are you talking about? I just gave you the link. Or are you being cute. LROFL "WARGAME CONSTRUCTION SET II: TANKS!" THANKS!


If you're referring to Nord Torglehort's TANKS then yes, I know the game you're talking about.
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Ice Cream Jonsey



Joined: 27 Apr 2002
Posts: 20088
Location: Colorado

PostPosted: Wed Jun 29, 2005 8:31 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

pinback wrote:
Jonsey, are The Lurking Horror and Jumpman Jr. on the list? And if not: WHY.

Because, though for hate's sake, I'd spit my last breath at this man, he's exactly goddamn right.


Yes to the first.

We didn't have Jumpman Jr on the PCjr, which is odd -- it had its name all over it. Also, I can't stand kids.

Jumpman IS on my list.
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Worm



Joined: 24 Aug 2002
Posts: 3626
Location: tucked away between the folds of your momma, safe

PostPosted: Wed Jun 29, 2005 9:45 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

It's just Mario, right? That's like typing Japanese in your English seriously. YOU BAKA. >_<
HEH! OOPS!
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Ice Cream Jonsey



Joined: 27 Apr 2002
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Location: Colorado

PostPosted: Wed Jun 29, 2005 10:35 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

#100 - SNOOPER TROOPS


Apple II



Snooper Troops is a game for kids that I played when I was a kid that didn't treat anyone involved as a kid. It concerns the possibility of there being a ghost in the Cable Mansion and in the town that this game takes place in, who better than to try to figure it out than a couple of snot-nosed pre-pube kiddies? I grew up in a town without a police force so I could relate.

There is an honest-to-god mystery in Snooper Troops that we can all get behind as well as the implementation of an entire town. Which house do you want to break and enter in order to hunt for clues? I mean in the game. Years before Grand Theft Auto 3 had you completely disrespecting personal boundaries Snooper Troops was there letting you do the same. And best of all, if someone came home that you weren't expecting, not only was there real tension as to whether or not you'd get caught but if you DID get caught you had to wait for the Apple's laughable excuse for a processor to determine that a long enough amount of time had passed before you could play again. It put you in a real-time jail! Fuckin' A.

Snooper Troops is the 100th best game ever made. It's about 22 years later and there still aren't any other games where I can solve mysteries by skulking around people's houses illegally. If not for the fact that trying to get an Apple II emulator going is about as much fun as kicking a hole in your drywall and gets you just as much respect from your friends you should grab the image and the terp and solve this one yourself.
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Ice Cream Jonsey



Joined: 27 Apr 2002
Posts: 20088
Location: Colorado

PostPosted: Wed Jun 29, 2005 10:37 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

chris wrote:
The question I have is whether or not any of the games ICJ has written will end up on this list....


Didn't see this at first. I'd have to be a real asshole to put one of my games on the list. Regardless, none of them should be on the list so it's a moot point.

Ben Parrish's Annoytron III *could* be on the list, but he hasn't written it yet.
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Worm



Joined: 24 Aug 2002
Posts: 3626
Location: tucked away between the folds of your momma, safe

PostPosted: Wed Jun 29, 2005 11:17 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Wait, so you're figuring them out backwards? Maybe I'll do this.
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AArdvark



Joined: 14 May 2002
Posts: 6052
Location: Rochester, NY

PostPosted: Thu Jun 30, 2005 3:26 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Quote:
I grew up in a town without a police force so I could relate.

You mean you never did anything to have the ONE cop car show up at your parents house. I think they have TWO (whole ones) now.

Anyway, is the looong drive to and from work the place where this list is compiled?



THE
RADIO MUST
SUCK IN CO.
AARDVARK
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pinback



Joined: 27 Apr 2002
Posts: 12029

PostPosted: Thu Jun 30, 2005 3:48 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I am enjoying the list so far. I have a feeling I won't recognize 95% of the games on the list (which rougly equates to 95 of them), but I am looking forward to the next one already, even though it'll be wrong.

Will this be a "one a day" thing?
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Ice Cream Jonsey



Joined: 27 Apr 2002
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Location: Colorado

PostPosted: Thu Jun 30, 2005 8:11 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

pinback wrote:
I am enjoying the list so far. I have a feeling I won't recognize 95% of the games on the list (which rougly equates to 95 of them), but I am looking forward to the next one already, even though it'll be wrong.

Will this be a "one a day" thing?


Yes. Next one coming after I see probable top-four movie of all time "Get Out of My House" starring Batman.
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Ice Cream Jonsey



Joined: 27 Apr 2002
Posts: 20088
Location: Colorado

PostPosted: Thu Jun 30, 2005 10:51 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

#99 - LEGEND OF THE RED DRAGON

BBS Door



We were all stupid teenagers and we didn't have this Internet thing and if you had a PC you barely even had video games. Therefore playing "door" games on bulletin boards that you had to call using your telephone was the best thing going.

Sometimes you'd find those "adult" BBSs and try to get in good with the bored housewives. They were always into crazy shit. But other times you just went to normal bulletin boards that were very family oriented in nature, except for what was going on with LoRD. You talked about religion and politics on the message forums and then logged into LoRD and exchanged torrid e-mails with sexy young females and were under the impression that the SysOp never read any that stuff.

Well, let me break the news to you: the SysOp could read all your embarrassing, testosterone-fueled, nigh-misogynistic missives (but didn't) but did read every single achingly tarted-up, exploring-her-inner-prostitute letter all the cock-starved nerd girls sent to you. It was fantastic.

Oh, and I understand that there's also some shit in this thing dealing with killing rats, getting gold and leveling up. Who knows. Great stuff! I bet there was even a dragon or something involved somewhere -- maybe someone who actually solved it can fill us in.

I don't know of any other game that routinely dumped hot, explicit text from nubile young women local to your area onto your c:\maximus\doors\lord directory. You might say "this game lacks graphics!!" Let me assure you, unlike the other text games that followed, this one was certainly GRAPHIC. It was Doom 3, Half-Life 2 and FarCry all in one.

Legend of the Red Dragon was great, a ton of fun, I beat off a thousand times, it's the 99th best game ever made.
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Last edited by Ice Cream Jonsey on Thu Jun 30, 2005 11:20 pm; edited 3 times in total
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pinback



Joined: 27 Apr 2002
Posts: 12029

PostPosted: Thu Jun 30, 2005 10:53 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I didn't understand that story. That was the 99th worst game review of all time.
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Ice Cream Jonsey



Joined: 27 Apr 2002
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Location: Colorado

PostPosted: Thu Jun 30, 2005 11:02 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

AArdvark wrote:
Quote:
I grew up in a town without a police force so I could relate.

You mean you never did anything to have the ONE cop car show up at your parents house. I think they have TWO (whole ones) now.


Actually, yes -- I got the cops called on me for throwing snowballs at cars.

Quote:
Anyway, is the looong drive to and from work the place where this list is compiled?


Well, no. A lifetime of playing has--

Okay, yes. 108 miles round trip die slowly.
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Ice Cream Jonsey



Joined: 27 Apr 2002
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Location: Colorado

PostPosted: Thu Jun 30, 2005 11:03 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

pinback wrote:
WARRGH WARRCH LET ME SHIT ON THIS THREAD


Sorry, I meant that Nate Grodhurt's Artillery II was the 99th best game. The keys are right next etc.
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Jack Straw



Joined: 01 May 2002
Posts: 1578
Location: R.O.C.

PostPosted: Thu Jun 30, 2005 11:04 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

pinback wrote:
I didn't understand that story. That was the 99th worst game review of all time.


So you didn't call BBS's....

that's your defect, not RobB's.
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Ice Cream Jonsey



Joined: 27 Apr 2002
Posts: 20088
Location: Colorado

PostPosted: Thu Jun 30, 2005 11:06 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Jack Straw wrote:
pinback wrote:
I didn't understand that story. That was the 99th worst game review of all time.


So you didn't call BBS's....


I fucked up in the original review. Where it says the bit about politics and religion I just now added the bit that goes "and then you login to LoRD and..."

I can see how what I wrote would make no sense if that line isn't there and you never logged into a BBS and never played LoRD and was never the SysOp of a BBS that had LoRD running and never read all the messages that everyone sent each other even though it purported to be a private exchange of information.
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pinback



Joined: 27 Apr 2002
Posts: 12029

PostPosted: Thu Jun 30, 2005 11:17 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

What was it about this particular door game which caused naughty bits to be sent around with such a fervor?
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Ice Cream Jonsey



Joined: 27 Apr 2002
Posts: 20088
Location: Colorado

PostPosted: Thu Jun 30, 2005 11:19 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

pinback wrote:
What was it about this particular door game which caused naughty bits to be sent around with such a fervor?


You got points for getting girlfriends and boyfriends and getting people to "marry" you in it. This was apparently done by spontaneously writing Penthouse letters to the editor in the thing's message editor. And because it was all fake and outside even the anonymous nature of the BBS (ergo, extra-anonymous) people let their guard down. And by guard I mean "morals," "self-respect" and "dignity."

What can I say... people like-a the "points."
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pinback



Joined: 27 Apr 2002
Posts: 12029

PostPosted: Thu Jun 30, 2005 11:23 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Ah, neato. Maybe in your next rundown of the seventy trillionth best games of all time, you'll mention that in your original review.

(Or even better, you'll automatically exclude games which you'd ordinarily include only because you got hot horny emails which you jerked off to because of it. But it's your list.)
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