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The Top 100 Games of All-Time.
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Ice Cream Jonsey



Joined: 27 Apr 2002
Posts: 20088
Location: Colorado

PostPosted: Thu Oct 17, 2013 7:26 am    Post subject: The Top 100 Games of All-Time. Reply with quote

Nine years ago, I started a thread called "The Top 100 Games of All-Time." Though I now see several flaws, it was the only good and accurate such list ever made.

Every other one that went to 100 has been terrible. They would leave off games like Zork, X-COM or Lode Runner or whatever. Such lists made by game companies SICKEN me.

There's also been nine years of games since then. Granted most of them have been terrible, but they are a thing that exist in the world.

I am going to revisit, update and correct the definitive top 100 list. I will probably post updates on Caltrops, but also post them here so there may be discussion and so that you can all call me an idiot for my choices.

There are also some games I'd never got round to playing, and I'd like to "try them until I figure out what they are about." The problem with this is that I have a good instinct as to what is and isn't a good game, and that mainstream game critics are morons.

Take "The Last of Us" for example. It has received a lot of praise for its compelling story and characters. Well, I am a text game expert. I doubt "The Last of Us" has better characters than in many of the text adventures I've played. It's just that someone reviewing PS3 games for IGN doesn't know what the fuck, so they make an ignorant comment about whatever console slop they are playing. My instincts -- and I do not mean for this to be arrogant -- are simply better than the long-tongued children recommending games these days.

Won't you take this journey with me??? (By the way, there have been three games called "Journey" and none of them are in the list.)
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Flack



Joined: 18 Nov 2008
Posts: 4953
Location: Oklahoma

PostPosted: Thu Oct 17, 2013 7:47 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Sounds like fun. If nothing else it sounds like it will give me 100 games to play and comment on.
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lethargic



Joined: 08 May 2013
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PostPosted: Thu Oct 17, 2013 12:01 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Quote:
Won't you take this journey with me???


No.

If you think any text game is better than The Last of Us I wouldn't take a journey to the 7-11 with you. hahaha
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Ice Cream Jonsey



Joined: 27 Apr 2002
Posts: 20088
Location: Colorado

PostPosted: Thu Oct 17, 2013 12:52 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Quote:
Quote:
Won't you take this journey with me???


No.

If you think any text game is better than The Last of Us I wouldn't take a journey to the 7-11 with you. hahaha


Understood. My long history of appreciation when it comes to games is oftentimes too intense for many people to deal with at first. This is a natural thing but by being here, you demonstrate a willingness to have your expansions broadened.

I haven't played TLOU, but there are a few things I know about it. Let's compare it to Zork or Planetfall:

1. The Last of Us is a third person "action adventure" game. Well, Zork invented adventure games.
2. The Last of Us featured a sidekick character who is, what, the daughter or something? Well, Planetfall invented caring about characters in games.
3. The Last of Us does not support save anywhere.
4. No matter how it looks, The Last of Us will look laughably dated in five years. On October 17th, 2018, we will laugh at its graphics. The graphics in Zork and Planetfall look just as good.
5. We've all played a hundred third person action games. TLOU can offer nothing... NOTHING new there.
6. That leaves the story being told.

I... I want to stress that I have thoroughly destroyed TLOU as it pertains to anything BUT its story. It simply cannot compete in terms of gameplay. I assume you agree because you are an intelligent man. But I want to make it clear. The only thing that TLOU could possibly have on these text games is its plot and story telling.

Well...

I'll grant you that TLOU probably has a better story than Zork. Zork is a pure gamey game. I am granting you that. But the next man up? Planetfall?

TLOU was written by fat nerds that think that "The Matrix" is their favorite movie. There's nothing anyone who worked on that game can possibly tell us about anything, because they are all disgusting wretches who spend too much time at Digg and Reddit. Planetfall was programmed and written by the greatest game writer in human history, Steve Meretzky... working in less space than a single TLOU game texture.


The Last of Us is what I call a game that makes the "7 to 9" wet in their underwear. The 7 to 9 group include shitbags that think if they write a few reviews for IGN, Sony will come calling to offer them a game design job. They can't program, they can't model 3D objects and they can't execute a test plan. They also can't write a game review, but THINK they can. They would never rate a game less than 7, because they may want to work for that company some day. To them, a game that apes a movie (lots of film grain, slow panning shots, unskippable cut scenes, and OMG non-combat portions???) is a classic. They are wrong and the hobby is poorer for these cretins.

I haven't played it, but I am 100% certain that The Last of Us sucks dick.

I'll ask again: won't you join me???
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lethargic



Joined: 08 May 2013
Posts: 548

PostPosted: Thu Oct 17, 2013 2:38 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Quote:
I'll ask again: won't you join me???


No!

I'd rather read IGN's lists because at least they actually play the games.
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ICJ
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PostPosted: Thu Oct 17, 2013 2:58 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I guess it's not terribly unfair for you to want a person to play a game before writing a review of it. That's fine. If that's how we do things around here, then that's fine.

Fine. FINE, god.
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lethargic



Joined: 08 May 2013
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PostPosted: Thu Oct 17, 2013 4:43 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

When's this journey start?
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Ice Cream Jonsey



Joined: 27 Apr 2002
Posts: 20088
Location: Colorado

PostPosted: Thu Oct 17, 2013 9:47 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

That's a good question. I think I've got 20-25 games that I need to play until I can figure out what's going on in them. This will be challenging, since I don't have a PS3.
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lethargic



Joined: 08 May 2013
Posts: 548

PostPosted: Thu Oct 17, 2013 11:17 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Dammit. You were supposed to say when then I was gonna say oh, I'm busy then. LOLOLOLOL
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Flack



Joined: 18 Nov 2008
Posts: 4953
Location: Oklahoma

PostPosted: Fri Oct 18, 2013 10:41 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I can see how you can compare apples to apples (ie: Doom II is better than Doom), but comparing two completely different genres is tough. Can you really say that Doom II is better than Lode Runner, or vice versa?

All I know is I played the Amiga version of Paradroid last night and it's terrible compared to the C64 version.
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lethargic



Joined: 08 May 2013
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PostPosted: Fri Oct 18, 2013 7:35 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I tried to go on my own journey and make my own list. I got to 60 something and ran out of gas.
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lethargic



Joined: 08 May 2013
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PostPosted: Wed Oct 30, 2013 11:56 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

This journey sucks.
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loafergirl



Joined: 02 May 2002
Posts: 627
Location: Rochester

PostPosted: Fri Nov 01, 2013 2:47 pm    Post subject: Gaming, what's that? Reply with quote

Plants V Zombies 2 is my current game. It is a far cry from many of the other games I have played. The hubby has expressed interest in Assassin's Creed 4, looks awesome, want multiplayer without having to go online though.
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Ice Cream Jonsey



Joined: 27 Apr 2002
Posts: 20088
Location: Colorado

PostPosted: Fri Nov 01, 2013 6:25 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

lethargic wrote:
This journey sucks.


A friend of mine wants to make a Shadowrun Returns mod with him. So this journey is on hold until that project is resolved. I am sorry. But all the games in this list would be better than all the games on lethargic's list.
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RetroRomper



Joined: 21 Jun 2010
Posts: 1283
Location: No where loved.

PostPosted: Fri Nov 01, 2013 6:30 pm    Post subject: Re: Gaming, what's that? Reply with quote

loafergirl wrote:
Plants V Zombies 2 is my current game. It is a far cry from many of the other games I have played.


The grinding aspect of PvZ 2 irritates me: PvZ 1 had a challenge mode aside from the main story, but now I need to play through 20 near impossible scenarios just to progress to the next stage?
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lethargic



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PostPosted: Sun Nov 03, 2013 1:36 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Ice Cream Jonsey wrote:
lethargic wrote:
This journey sucks.


A friend of mine wants to make a Shadowrun Returns mod with him. So this journey is on hold until that project is resolved. I am sorry. But all the games in this list would be better than all the games on lethargic's list.


Aren't you making your own game? Why make somebody else's?
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Ice Cream Jonsey



Joined: 27 Apr 2002
Posts: 20088
Location: Colorado

PostPosted: Sun Nov 03, 2013 8:25 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

lethargic wrote:
Ice Cream Jonsey wrote:
lethargic wrote:
This journey sucks.


A friend of mine wants to make a Shadowrun Returns mod with him. So this journey is on hold until that project is resolved. I am sorry. But all the games in this list would be better than all the games on lethargic's list.


Aren't you making your own game? Why make somebody else's?


I am! I am making my own game. The friend that I'd be making this mod with is making a mod based on the other website I run at www.caltrops.com'pointy.php. So it's not really a situation where I am just implementing someone else's grand vision, which I would never do, because everyone else's grand vision is terrible. This is more of a collaboration. Anyway, I stretched myself thin!
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Ice Cream Jonsey



Joined: 27 Apr 2002
Posts: 20088
Location: Colorado

PostPosted: Sat Mar 01, 2014 11:42 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Resurrecting this thread might be a good way to make the BBS matter again.

I'll check my list and get started.
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Ice Cream Jonsey



Joined: 27 Apr 2002
Posts: 20088
Location: Colorado

PostPosted: Wed Mar 05, 2014 11:13 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

#100 - PORTAL (2007, PC, Valve)



My Internet comedy partner, Pinback, and I have had long discussions about all manner of media. Video games, for sure. But also movies and television shows. One of the concepts I have floated towards Pinback is that of the "minimum we should expect."

I think that video games are an immature medium that seems to constantly fall backwards. The technology improves, sure -- the most clever programmers are game programmers, and it's sad that you hear about the long hours many of them work and the pay that doesn't quite match what they could get for other companies. Video games have the most immature writing of any form of entertainment that I can think of.

Which leads to Portal.

Nerds did their best to ruin it like they did Monty Python and Douglas Adams. Hell, a buddy of mine bought me a "The Cake Is A Lie" shirt and I don't think we ever had more than a couple Portal-based conversations together. It just dominated the end of 2007 and most of 2008. You couldn't escape it if you were on the internet. and not trying to overthrow a government with social media.

The act of moving through portals is fun, and there are a few clever puzzles in there, but that's not why this game is the 100th best ever made. Portal is so memorable because of the character of GlaDOS and the writing of Erik Wolpaw and Chet Faliszek.

(It wouldn't exist at all without Kim Swift. She was the lead on one of the greatest games I have ever played. I don't want to short change the contributions of anyone who worked on Portal. I just happened to have a special, crazed, possibly unhealthy one-way relationship with Chet and Erik. The problem is with me.)

Everyone at JC knows this, but in case this gets linked elsewhere, Chet and Erik wrote for oldmanmurray.com. Without that site (and Amiga Power 2) I wouldn't even be on the Internet. Not like this -- they proved what a website could do, how it could be unique, how anyone's voice will rise if it is funny enough. They took shots at everyone, but saved the best ones for themselves and each other. And this madcap hilarity comes through every time GlaDOS insults the player.

Telling the player that you should feel bad because you're probably adopted isn't just wacky for gamer dads, it's great for everyone.

The rest of the game really is OK. It's fine! I think that a lot of puzzle games suffer from the fact that you can sort of "see" the solution in your mind, and then it just becomes a skill test to execute. Portal is one of those games. But God, that moment where you jump off the rails and go to a very different place....

So, the minimum. Portal is the minimum we should expect from writing, plot and dialogue in a video game. Every game should have at least one character as fleshed out as GlaDOS. Most of them don't. Most of the games that are above Portal on this list don't, they just happen to do other things extremely well. But Portal is the minimum of what I should be getting out of a computer game if that game is going to be considered legendary. It begins our new list.
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pinback



Joined: 27 Apr 2002
Posts: 12029

PostPosted: Wed Mar 05, 2014 11:24 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

That was wonderful.

I cannot think of 99 games better than Portal. Portal 2 is one of them, but I'm pretty sure it's not on this list.

I'm glad it's represented, though.

I actually got stuck on like the last test room, so it took another year before I went back and actually discovered the rest of the game. I guess I am bad at games. But I will always treasure my time with Portal.

It was definitely the best game in the Orange Box. Christ.
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