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Bell’s HopSlam Ale
May 19th, 2008 by ChainGangGuy

It’s hard to believe that nearly six years have gone by since Jolt Country, The Great On-Line Empire first came online. And Ben Parrish, with his razor-sharp wit, has been entertaining us from day one. As his posts number well into the thousands, it is clear to see Ben Parrish’s contribution to this BBS has been immense. It is undeniable! Our time is somewhat limited, so I can’t possibly begin to summarize them, so be sure the swing by The Best Of base on your way out. At times he was a bit of a bully, having verbally flogged nearly everyone on the memberlist at one point or another. At times he was quiet and peaceful, with a subdued wisdom infusing his many posts. Some found they were drawn viscerally to his posts, while still others decided to leave the site forever because of them. But love him or hate him, one thing’s for sure, the man TELLS it like it is and his posts always make for an interesting read. Today’s toast is to our dear friend, Ben “Pinback” Parrish.

BEER: Bell’s HopSlam Ale

Today, I’ve chosen a brew from Bell’s, a well-respected craft brewery from Kalamazoo, Michigan. I believe it was Ben who once told me that hops were the “heart and soul” of any good beer, so I felt a double (or imperial) IPA to be a fitting choice for his toast. Double IPA’s are India Pale Ales on a daily HGH regimen and subjected to varying levels of gamma radiation. This produces a hop profile and alcohol content of considerable strength. Let’s get to the beer, we don’t have a moment to waste!

Bell’s HopSlam pours out a bright, translucent orangey body topped by a dense cap of ivory foam. Alright, now lean in close and get a big whiff of that aroma. Wow, they ain’t fucking around. Incredibly redolent scent almost stinking of fresh ruby red grapefruit, pineapple rings, passion fruit, and honeydew melon. Smells wonderful. The taste provides a subtly sweet pale maltiness which is obscured, and right so, by the extreme hoppiness of this fine beer. Wave after wave of intense, juicy tropical fruit hop flavors wash over the palate. Each new sip delivers a moderate kick of potent bitterness (some would even say 4 Whimpering Losers out of 5!). The 10% abv is very well hidden amidst so many superb hop flavors. At last, HopSlam finishes bittersweet with a long, lingering tropical fruitiness.

With 70 tongue-searing IBUs, HopSlam is a true Double India Pale Ale, and it never hides behind a suspiciously malt-heavy grain bill and toothsome sweet caramel flavors more suited to a barleywine. After four years, still the most important name in hops.

Ben Parrish, along with Robb, breathed a rich life into this BBS. Hell, they owned this place. They are the giants on who’s shoulders this site stands. So, let me take this opportunity to extend my sincere gratitude to Ben for giving us so much. Thanks, pal. Many years from now people will continue to look back on your work here with reverence and awe. I truly hope one day to sit down with my friend, Ben, perhaps over a Bell’s HopSlam, and fondly reminisce about our bygone Jolt Country days.

“I hope.” –Morgan Freeman


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