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Chicks Dig Jerks
March 9th, 2012 by Ice Cream Jonsey

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It’s Thursday night and you’re at Mick’s Unwashed Outback Tavern. All the girls you couldn’t nail while wasting away at military school are out looking to meet interesting chaps like yourself and your compatriots. The ‘Mick is kind of a meat-market (meaning that predators of both gender and varying sexual preference skulk about attempting to discern potential companionship for an evening… and the prey have no illusions about that). Your friends and co-workers Keegan and Pang have joined you. They’re great guys to go bar-hopping with: Pang left to use the lavatory an eternity ago while Keegan just bolted to hit on a girl. They do, however, always have your back and allow you to be a complete assjack when you party together. You definitely lucked out in getting to know them as most of the people you meet at work are a bunch of stiffs. Tonight there really does seem to be an inordinate amount of sexy knock-outs to chat up. Pump it up, Avandre, and try not to bring your boys down!

“The PC and his friends are some of the most repulsive human beings I’ve ever seen described, and spending time looking through their eyes was pretty sickening.” — Paul O’Brian

“This is the only game that left a nasty taste in my mouth. It seemed to be written by an adolescent on viagra.” — Sam Barlow

“Hey, that game is awesome. It could’ve been a club simulator, and a robbing graves engine, but you COMBINED them, my friend. They said it couldn’t be done! Well, you showed them. (6/10)” — Alex Gray

“So, does anyone disagree that this game contains the best writing of any game in the comp?” — Adam Cadre

“If that’s what being a jerk is all about, then yay jerks!” — Iain Merrick

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