Comments on: The Point of No Return http://www.joltcountry.com/index.php/features/the-point-of-no-return The Great On-Line Empire Sun, 14 Mar 2010 04:53:39 -0500 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.9.2 hourly 1 By: Paul O'Brian http://www.joltcountry.com/index.php/features/the-point-of-no-return/comment-page-1#comment-188 Paul O'Brian Wed, 04 Jun 2008 14:33:45 +0000 http://www.joltcountry.com/?p=61#comment-188 Good god. Now I understand why I progress so slowly on IF projects. Much sympathy, and man... I don't know. Are you working to a deadline here? Is it a comp game or something? Because if not, please, take a day off! I promise you won't die. Good god. Now I understand why I progress so slowly on IF projects. Much sympathy, and man… I don’t know. Are you working to a deadline here? Is it a comp game or something? Because if not, please, take a day off! I promise you won’t die.

]]> By: Ice Cream Jonsey http://www.joltcountry.com/index.php/features/the-point-of-no-return/comment-page-1#comment-144 Ice Cream Jonsey Fri, 30 May 2008 06:24:38 +0000 http://www.joltcountry.com/?p=61#comment-144 Thank you all for taking the time to read and respond. In fact, the comments showing up in nothing but italics was driving me crazy, as if replying entered you into the Comments World of Tycho from Penny Arcade (not a shot: it would be awesome to have one of the three common font mods associated with me. Perhaps it is not too late to bagsies <u>underline</u>!). I have switched to a black text on white background theme that will hopefully be easier to read, as well as not get me called out as elderly on my BBS. I hope to achieve but one of those. REPLY-O-RAMA! <i>re: Emily</i> It is helpful! To know that someone had gone through it before with IF does help. I am probably going to turn in no later than one for a month to at least see if it helps. I have read a few articles on sleep deprivation and they all seem to say that the target stayed up for 11 days straight, slept for 14 hours and then was able to get all their motor skills, mathematical skills, and not-seeing-demons-in-the-lawn skills back. But what happens if you get like four hours of sleep over several months? (Actually, there is probably a single mother of four working three jobs somewhere in the US right now who could tell me, so I should say that it's all relative.) I may very well be making myself more dense. You're right, of course, that there will always be another opportunity to write, and while it is tough to envision what that will be like, it's good to keep that in perspective. <i>re: Paul</i> Thank you for sharing what it is like to do it for a living - I have this dream of one day quitting my job and getting to devote all this time to making games of some sort, but yeah, it does seem like the insanity doesn't cease, it just takes up more time. I totally hear you on how exhausting it can be being in front of a computer screen and then coming home facing more of the same. And regarding what you said about the one compliment making it all worthwhile - haha, I feel the exact same way. I think that and time with my sweetie does the most to keep me sane, heh. <i>re: One of the Bruces</i> Well, it's, ah, been gin lately because I drank all the vodka. Thank you all for taking the time to read and respond. In fact, the comments showing up in nothing but italics was driving me crazy, as if replying entered you into the Comments World of Tycho from Penny Arcade (not a shot: it would be awesome to have one of the three common font mods associated with me. Perhaps it is not too late to bagsies underline!). I have switched to a black text on white background theme that will hopefully be easier to read, as well as not get me called out as elderly on my BBS. I hope to achieve but one of those.

REPLY-O-RAMA!

re: Emily

It is helpful! To know that someone had gone through it before with IF does help. I am probably going to turn in no later than one for a month to at least see if it helps. I have read a few articles on sleep deprivation and they all seem to say that the target stayed up for 11 days straight, slept for 14 hours and then was able to get all their motor skills, mathematical skills, and not-seeing-demons-in-the-lawn skills back. But what happens if you get like four hours of sleep over several months? (Actually, there is probably a single mother of four working three jobs somewhere in the US right now who could tell me, so I should say that it’s all relative.) I may very well be making myself more dense.

You’re right, of course, that there will always be another opportunity to write, and while it is tough to envision what that will be like, it’s good to keep that in perspective.

re: Paul

Thank you for sharing what it is like to do it for a living – I have this dream of one day quitting my job and getting to devote all this time to making games of some sort, but yeah, it does seem like the insanity doesn’t cease, it just takes up more time. I totally hear you on how exhausting it can be being in front of a computer screen and then coming home facing more of the same. And regarding what you said about the one compliment making it all worthwhile – haha, I feel the exact same way. I think that and time with my sweetie does the most to keep me sane, heh.

re: One of the Bruces

Well, it’s, ah, been gin lately because I drank all the vodka.

]]> By: Bruce http://www.joltcountry.com/index.php/features/the-point-of-no-return/comment-page-1#comment-143 Bruce Fri, 30 May 2008 04:09:07 +0000 http://www.joltcountry.com/?p=61#comment-143 At least it's not vodka, my friend. At least it's not vodka. Bruce At least it’s not vodka, my friend. At least it’s not vodka.

Bruce

]]> By: Paul Furio http://www.joltcountry.com/index.php/features/the-point-of-no-return/comment-page-1#comment-142 Paul Furio Fri, 30 May 2008 00:15:01 +0000 http://www.joltcountry.com/?p=61#comment-142 Yeah, I know how it feels. I make games professionally, and every day I go home wishing I could work on my latest IF work, but I'm just burned out from making games at work all day. These aren't even the games I WANT to be making, but they pay the bills. Not that this is any respite, but when it's over, and you've started the next one, you'll be in a bittersweet state: The challenges of the next title will make you long for the 20/20 hindsight you have on this one, and that will drown out the pain you're feeling right now. Of course, you'll also have to live with your creation, and for every 20 complaints, you'll get back one compliment which makes it all worthwhile. I've made plenty of games, some great, some sysiphian shovelware. The Making Of is always a slog. The rough edges are always most visible to the Creator, and the hidden flaws are always invisible to him/her and readily apparant to the critical player. It's the nature of the beast. All you can do is keep at it, and strive towards the moment of completion. At least in that, there is release. Yeah, I know how it feels. I make games professionally, and every day I go home wishing I could work on my latest IF work, but I’m just burned out from making games at work all day. These aren’t even the games I WANT to be making, but they pay the bills.

Not that this is any respite, but when it’s over, and you’ve started the next one, you’ll be in a bittersweet state: The challenges of the next title will make you long for the 20/20 hindsight you have on this one, and that will drown out the pain you’re feeling right now. Of course, you’ll also have to live with your creation, and for every 20 complaints, you’ll get back one compliment which makes it all worthwhile.

I’ve made plenty of games, some great, some sysiphian shovelware. The Making Of is always a slog. The rough edges are always most visible to the Creator, and the hidden flaws are always invisible to him/her and readily apparant to the critical player. It’s the nature of the beast. All you can do is keep at it, and strive towards the moment of completion. At least in that, there is release.

]]> By: Emily Short http://www.joltcountry.com/index.php/features/the-point-of-no-return/comment-page-1#comment-141 Emily Short Thu, 29 May 2008 23:03:56 +0000 http://www.joltcountry.com/?p=61#comment-141 This was a painful read for me, because you're describing what the last... what, six? -- months of writing City of Secrets was like. Not enough sleep, not enough rest, not enough interacting with other humans, the sense that I had long since passed every conceivable *sane* reason to be doing what I was doing. The creeping fear that what I was doing could not possibly be worth the time and energy I was putting into it. The sense of being reduced, as a person, to a single purpose, since normal hobbies and enjoyments and work had all been set aside. It was excruciating. I've been various kinds of unhappy at various times in my life, but I remember that as one of the most miserable periods ever. I also failed: I released the game when I did because I simply could not stand to work on it any longer. It wasn't perfected; I just couldn't go on. So, hm. My sympathies. I'm not going to suggest that you get some perspective and sleep more, because though that's good advice, it didn't work for me then and I don't expect it to work for you now. And I'm not going to tell you it'll feel better in retrospect, because if my experience is anything to go by, it won't. I am not entirely satisfied with any of my IF work, but CoS is the game I have the biggest grudge against, because I put so much into it that every remaining flaw is a bigass neon sign pointing to my failings as a human being. The problem with doing your best at something -- really your best, holding nothing back at all -- is that then when you're done you're stuck with the results. You don't get to say that you weren't really trying or that it was just a side project or anything. Here's what I have to say from the other side of that experience. One, most of my personal relationships did prove pretty resilient even though I wasn't as attentive to them as I should have been. In fact, a lot of people came through for me during that time, and that was heartwarming and something I appreciate, and I tried to show later that I'd appreciated it, even if I wasn't up for being very demonstrative while it was going on. Two, the really important thing, and my answer to "This will be the creation I will be remembered by, if I am remembered at all...": the good news is, this may be the best you can do now, it may be the biggest thing you've written so far, but there will be a time after it, and there will be more opportunities to write your life's masterpiece. Anyway. Hang in there. (Not that that's very helpful.) This was a painful read for me, because you’re describing what the last… what, six? — months of writing City of Secrets was like. Not enough sleep, not enough rest, not enough interacting with other humans, the sense that I had long since passed every conceivable *sane* reason to be doing what I was doing. The creeping fear that what I was doing could not possibly be worth the time and energy I was putting into it. The sense of being reduced, as a person, to a single purpose, since normal hobbies and enjoyments and work had all been set aside. It was excruciating. I’ve been various kinds of unhappy at various times in my life, but I remember that as one of the most miserable periods ever.

I also failed: I released the game when I did because I simply could not stand to work on it any longer. It wasn’t perfected; I just couldn’t go on.

So, hm. My sympathies. I’m not going to suggest that you get some perspective and sleep more, because though that’s good advice, it didn’t work for me then and I don’t expect it to work for you now.

And I’m not going to tell you it’ll feel better in retrospect, because if my experience is anything to go by, it won’t. I am not entirely satisfied with any of my IF work, but CoS is the game I have the biggest grudge against, because I put so much into it that every remaining flaw is a bigass neon sign pointing to my failings as a human being. The problem with doing your best at something — really your best, holding nothing back at all — is that then when you’re done you’re stuck with the results. You don’t get to say that you weren’t really trying or that it was just a side project or anything.

Here’s what I have to say from the other side of that experience. One, most of my personal relationships did prove pretty resilient even though I wasn’t as attentive to them as I should have been. In fact, a lot of people came through for me during that time, and that was heartwarming and something I appreciate, and I tried to show later that I’d appreciated it, even if I wasn’t up for being very demonstrative while it was going on.

Two, the really important thing, and my answer to “This will be the creation I will be remembered by, if I am remembered at all…”: the good news is, this may be the best you can do now, it may be the biggest thing you’ve written so far, but there will be a time after it, and there will be more opportunities to write your life’s masterpiece.

Anyway. Hang in there. (Not that that’s very helpful.)

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