It’s Knuckles the Clown Week: I was dead once
I was dead once. The Mclurg kids next door were fucking around banging on the walls while I was taking a bath. I got up to go yell at them and banged my head on the shower-head, knocking me out and sending me to an untimely death in a pool of my own stink. Luckily my future ex-wife had to use the crapper and walked in after I had been face down in disgusting bath water for god knows how long. By the time paramedics had arrived I was pronouced dead.
After getting those electric shocks I came to about 40 seconds later. I sat and looked around. Those goddamned kids were still banging around, my ugly wife had stunk up the bathroom and I owed my life to some pimply face squared assed lesbo Paramedic. I screamed to God- “If you are going to kill me, at least have the balls to finish the job. ” I took up smoking the next day.