1.
(1) Philadelphia
The
Eagles move in to the top spot. Terrell Owens is the best FA pick up
since the Eagles let Reggie
White go to the Packers. It seems to matter NOT who runs the ball
here. Pitt-Phil is easily the best game
of the week and I will delighted with the results either way.
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2.
(1) New
England
It
had to end sooner or later, but would’ve thought it would be a
blow out? They completely abandoned
the running once Dillon was scratched. The Pats are human again, but
they will probably bounce back
strong.
¨ |
3.
(8) Pittsburgh
Pittsburgh
has a chance to be the toast of the NFL this week. Stat wags
everywhere are digging up
record books for when a team knocked off consecutive undefeateds
this late in a season. It probably
Involves Curly Lombardi and Vince Lamditka or some other dead guy.
Anyhow, if Pittsburgh beats
the Eagles they have to be Super bowl favorites
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4.
(6) NY Jets
The
Jets took care of their sh*t against Miami. They even managed to
make the worst team in the
AFC even crappier by ending Junior Seau’s career. The important
thing is that Moss, McCareiens
and Chrebet contributed. That O-Line is something else plowing the way
for 700 rushing yards.
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5.
(4) Indianapolis
The
Colts seem to have the most brutal of schedules. Mixed in between
cupcakes like the Raiders
are the Jags, Pats and resurgent Chiefs. They need to fix their d. Plain
and simple. They have a
defensive coach and I believe he will fix it.
¨
.
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6.
(3) Minnesota
Has
the collapse started already? Probably not, the loss of Randy Moss
and the implementations
of Michael Bennett has thrown the offense for a loop and the D has
started to play like last year.
Not good. Mike Tice can’t survive another lull.
¯ |
7.
(9) Atlanta
A
week after getting their heads kicked in to the tune of 100-10 by
KC, coach Mora Jr. suggested
they go back to “momma’s house”. Whatever, they followed up
their beating by sticking it to the
Broncos in Denver. Michael Vick at his best running and throwing.
Oh...and was that a T.J. Duckett
sighting?
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8.
(5) Denver
Living
in Colorado you get exposed to the ultimate in retardedness. The
local media is already talking
about signing or trading for Drew Brees next year. The season is
over and I’m sure the bad fans here
will be staying away from Inves….errrrrr Mile high in droves.
That’s what first place gets you here,
a bunch of idiot crybaby non-fans.
¯ |
9. (7) Jacksonville
Jacksonville
can’t keep living on the edge like this can they? They’ve proven
they can run with the
big boys as well as keeping bad teams like the Bills involved for
four quarters. Losing to Houston
is no shame and either is losing Fred Taylor, he has been worthless
all year. Enjoy your bye week,
Jack Del Rio’s ulcers can heal.
¨
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10.
(14) NY Giants
The
Giants followed up their loss to Detroit with an unexpected win at
Minnesota. Minnesota is their
bitch. They should pound Chicago this week but, screw it they will
have a field day against
Craig
Krenzel
.
¨
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11.
(10) Baltimore
Baltimore’s
strategy is to have Kyle Boller throw passes of two yards or less
and run the ball
whenever possible. Isn’t Boller the guy could throw a ball 60
yards on his knees? I realize without
Heap and Jamal Lewis the offensive talent is piss-poor, but c’mon!
The Sunday night game against
the Browns should be a snoozer.
¨ |
12.
(12) Packers
The
Packers should’ve blown the game against the Redskins but managed
to pull it out. That’s what
good teams do. Are the Packers back?
Who knows but now is the time to start playing with
Minnesota reeling. Favre hurt his hand again and the bye week slows
the momentum train, but lets
Favre heal. A good trade off.
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13.
(16) San Diego
San
Diego is this years Carolina. At least that is what I’m banking my
future picks on. Every year
I waiver on believing the hype on the ugly duckling team but this
year I’m hopping on the
Bandwagon. The last statement will come back to haunt me very soon.
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14
(13) St.
Louis
The
Rams come off bye with a punch to the mouth. New England should be
pissed are ready to take
it out on someone. Mike Martz has a point to prove since he screwed
up their Super Bowl against
the Pats so bad. Look for the Rams to run the hell out of the ball
and the Patriots to continue ignoring
the run the game as long as Dillon is hurting.
¨ |
15. (15) Seattle
The
Seahawks finally played better last week and still managed to
struggle with the Panthers. Their
defense plays scared at the end of games and that is was is keeping
opponents from taking them
seriously. Chad brown and Anthony Simmons are playing together for
the first time, will that help?
¯ |
16.
(11)
Detroit
Beat
the Giants and get killed by the Cowboys. This team has also blown
the chance the Vikings are
giving them. How many people played WR Roy Williams last week in
fantasy and got burned?
I did.
¨ |
17.
(17) Kansas City
They
are back baby! Two wins over playoff caliber teams. The Chiefs also
managed to remember
Tony Gonzalez plays for them. Power Rankings say they win 10 games.
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18.
(18) Houston
Another mess of a
franchise slipping under the radar. The Texans are enjoying San
Diego’s run
because it leaves them virtually ignored. No pressure. Their running
game is a concern with
Dominick Davis struggling. The defense surprisingly features a great
corner duo in Glenn-Robinson.
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19. (20) Cleveland
Cleveland comes off their
bye in a must win. If they can beat the Ravens again they can keep
slim
Wild card hopes afloat . If they can keep William Green busy not
smoking crack they may be able
to parlay him in to a draft pick. I actually believe this team is a
year away from something special
when they get all of their hurt players back.
¨
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20.
(23) Tennesee
Two teams seasons
ended last Sunday. The Bengals and Titans. In beating the Bengals
the Titans
proved they aren’t in the gutter yet but deflated whatever
momentum Cincy had. I’m writing more
about the Bengals here cause besides Chris Brown there aint much to
write about in Tennessee.
¯ |
21.
(16) Arizona
Arizona-you
morons. They beat New Orleans and Seattle but lose to the Bills and
49e
Green will get them on track this year. If McCown is the real
deal we will find out soon. His
receiver corps has unlimited potential and the running game is
playing surprisingly well. I guess that
is what happens when you spend 57 1st picks on your
o-line. Arizona will continue to be a spread
covering enigma.
¯ |
22. (18) Dallas
How the Cowboys managed
to beat down the Lions is beyond me. All I do know is Keyshawn
actually got some long passes, always an encouraging sign. Dallas
needs to get to work now with Philly,
Baltimore and Seattle coming up.
¯
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23.
(24) Cincinnati
What a frustrating time to be a Bengal fan. They are too talented to
be losing to a beat up Titans team.
The MNF game last week looks like a load shooter. Palmer had it
right throwing every ball to Chad
Johnson. He should do that this week. As far as Cowboys-Bengals, do
you feel comfortable giving
either team the nod? I don’t
¯.
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24.
(25) New Orleans
Hi
, I’m a New Orleans Saint. Here is how I spent my bye week.
Monday-went to strip club. Tuesday,
went to strip club. Wednesday, went to strip club Thursday, went to
strip club Friday, went to
strip club Saturday, went to Joe
Horn’s bar-b-q then went to strip club. When do we play next I’m
running out of $1 bills?
¯ |
25.
(26) Washington
How many times did somebody trot out the Redskins lose
incumbent-loses stat.. IT DIDN’T
EVEN WORK IN 96! What a stupid stat regurgitated by every hack in
broadcasting. Here’s a stat-
every Presidential victor comes from a wealthy white family. You can
bank on that one.
Oh the Redskins aren’t good either
¯ |
26.
(27) Oakland
How bad are things
for the Raiders? The CHARGERS had to put back-ups in and is was due
to
ineptness. They have a four headed monster of running backs that
would start for no other team and
their QB is in a system made for QB’s who can’t throw farther
than 20 yards. Oakland is officially
a BYE week for other teams.
¯ |
27.
(30) Tampa Bay
The Bucs entered
their bye week feeling better with the play of Brian Griese and
multiple time
felon Michael Pittman. Those two mark an improvement. This team can
ruin a bunch of teams
seasons and that is all they have to play for.
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28.
(21) Carolina
The
Panthers played well. Probably due more to Seattle’s inability to
finish games then anything else.
Now they need to make sure they don’t go the way of the Raider and
Bucs. Stephen Davis
is due back, but why bother?
¯ |
29
(28) Chicago
Craig Krenzel’s
first NFL pass was a TD. You will be reading that in the Football
Hall of Shame
volume #40. “Krenzel threw a TD pass and then failed to throw
another one the rest of his career”
Sorry, Craig should be a serviceable QB in the NFL for years to
come. Good thing the Bears never
play Anthony Thomas. He only helps them win games and beat on
opposing, linebackers.
Apparently the last thing the Bearsis want to do is pretend they are
a legitimate NFL franchise.
¨ |
30.
(28) Buffalo
HOORAY. The Bills
win again. Here is the formula to their success. Let their special
teams, defense
and running game play perfect games and throw the ball 4
times. I didn’t
realize Shane Matthews was
sitting there all along. He probably would be doing a better job
than Bledsoe.
¨ |
31.
(32) Miami
Where do I begin?
I don’t.
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32.
(32) San Francisco
Lost to the god
awful Bears, but helped themselves in the grand scheme of things.
Now they will
probably do something stupid and beat Seattle.
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What a run for the Steelers. They get to prove how
great they are by toppling two undefeateds. How do I pick this game? The
Eagles will probably be without Westbrook again yet the Steelers are on
the road. That road isn’t very far and the Eagles have to lose sometime
right? RIGHT? Eagles win and beat this small spread.
Rematch of a great Super Bowl. I don’t think it’s
physically possible for the Patriots to lose 2 games in a row. I’ve also
never understood why they never lose. It comes down to this. The Pats are
banged up and the Rams are well rested AND at home.
The Broncos bubble has been burst. But much to my
chagrin they are a good team. The Texans are playing great football on
both sides of the ball. This will be the classic Broncos squeaker. Throw
the spread out.
What do I do here? The Dolphins are embarrassing. The
Cardinals can’t beat Buffalo. At least the Cardinals will play in
similar temperatures even though the humidity changes from dry to needing
to take a shower after getting the paper. I will put my hopes into the
Cardinals. Maybe for the last time. Look at your pick em league. Can you
take Miami giving up points?
Let me see if I have this figured out yet. Home teams
covering on Monday night. OKAY! A bad stench is coming out of Minnesota
and the Colts have played 4 or five “big games” already. I’ll take
the Colts versus the Moss-less Vikes.
Ten things watch for last week .
1. Minnesota backfield being a fantasy nightmare
2. Eagles-Steelers lives up to the hype
3. Houston and San Diego let us all down
4. The Chiefs have a let down at Tampa
5. Flip a coin on Roy Williams
6. LT sits out the fourth
quarter
7. Andre Rison’s first
order of business as coach will be asking his GM to trade him to the NFL
8. TO or Buress will say
something stupid this week
9. One of the Saints players
will sleep with another player’s wife
10. If the Broncos lose the fans will scream for Elway to make a comeback